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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Rose Byrne in Wicker Park), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 38%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of January 24th, the new film in wide release is I, Frankenstein. Since that’s the only wide release, I’ll also look at Nebraska and Dallas Buyers Club which are expanding this weekend.

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	I, Frankenstein	Nebraska	Dallas Buyers Club	WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest Title	Perhaps this title has one word too many, but it’s probably about Frankenstein.	Probably about Nebraska.	Probably about the Dallas Buyers Club (But I don’t know what that means)	Frankenstein wins the point for most recognizable title.
Best Genre and Rating	Action Fantasy Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense fantasy action and violence throughout	Drama Rated R for some language	Biography Drama Rated R for pervasive language, some strong sexual content, nudity and drug use	Oscar movies are good...but this weekend the PG-13 action movie wins this point.
Best Plot (in haiku form)	Frankenstein’s his name He’s a monster (not doctor????) Has to save mankind	Old man wins millions Has to travel to get it Maybe it’s a scam	Man gets aids, needs drugs But can’t get drugs in U.S. Starts sneaking them in.	All the plots have a uniqueness to them. 1/3 point each.
Best Trailer	PROS: Frankenstein is badass. Lots of mythical creature fighting. CONS: I don’t see how this movie reflects any part of the book that it is based on.	PROS: Looks like a cute story of a son going on a journey with his father CONS: May not be cons if you don’t mind movies that don’t have explosions	PROS: Looks like an intriguing story (based on a true story) CONS: May not be cons if you don’t mind movies that don’t have explosions	Nebraska and Dallas Buyers Club will split the point for best trailer.
Coolest Lead Actor	Aaron Eckhart from The Dark Knight and Thank You For Smoking.	Bruce Dern (Oscar nominated for this role) from Coming Home and The Great Gatsby.	Matthew McConaughey (Oscar nominated for this role) from A Time to Kill and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.	Matthew McConaughey will win this point.
Best Cast	Bill Nighy (Love Actually)	Will Forte (SNL) and June Squibb (Oscar nominated for this role...and from About Schmidt).	Jennifer Garner (Alias) and Jared Leto (Oscar nominated for this role...and from Requiem for a Dream)	Congratulations June and Jared. You can each get a 1/2 point each.
Best Street Cred For the Production	Writer and Director Stuart Beattie also wrote Collateral and the four Pirates of the Caribbean movies.	Director Alexander Payne also wrote and directed Sideways, About Schmidt, and The Descendants.	Writer Melisa Wallack also wrote Meet Bill and Mirror Mirror.	Alexander Payne will win the street cred point.

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So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, I Frankenstein scores 2 and 1/3 points, Nebraska scores 2 and 1/3 points, and Dallas Buyers Club also scores 2 and 1/3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like Kevin Hart, feel free to watch last weekend’s Ride Along. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, all three movies are tied as the best movies to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. I, Frankenstein’s “200 Years Later, He’s Still Alive” has the best tagline, and it’ll win the column for the movie to watch this weekend. (Which may be the only good news for this movie when compared to Oscar nominated movies.)
Conclusion 3: Judi Dench is in Philomena. I’m rooting for her to go the whole way at the Oscars.

*Statistic is completely made up.