| Devil’s Due
| Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit | The Nut Job | Ride Along | WINNER
(1 point per category) |
| CLEAREST TITLE | Horror Film. | Spy Thriller. | Not sure. | Not sure. | Devil’s Due and Jack Ryan split the point for recognizable titles. |
BEST GENRE
& RATING | Horror
Rated R for language and some bloody images | Action
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and intense action, and brief strong language | Animation
Rated PG for mild action and rude humor | Comedy
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence, sexual content and brief strong language | It’s going to be a good weekend. 4 different genres! 1/4th point each. |
BEST PLOT
(in haiku form) | Honeymoon couple
Gets pregnant with devil’s kid
Never a good thing
| Beginning story
How Jack Ryan became spy
Russians are bad guys | Squirrel needs to find nuts
Team of critters recruited
To rob the nut shop | Guy wants to propose
But her brother is tough cop
Who will give him hell | Devil’s child, Russian spys, and buddy cop comedy have all been done before. Squirrel plot is unique. |
| BEST TRAILER
| PROS: There’s a mix between found footage horror and regular spooky horror
CONS: May not be extra awesome | PROS: Looks like a realistic spy film, great actors!
CONS: May not be extra awesome | PROS: You can’t go wrong with animated woodland creatures, kids will love it
CONS: Adults may not love it as much | PROS: Hilarious trailer, I laughed a lot
CONS: Sometimes all the funny parts are in the trailer | Ride Along had the best trailer by far! Point. |
| COOLEST LEAD ACTOR
| No stars I recognized yet. | Chris Pine from Star Trek and Unstoppable. | The voice of Will Arnett from Arrested Development. | Ice Cube from Friday, Boyz n the Hood, and 21 Jump Street. | Chris Pine and Ice Cube will split the point for coolest actor. |
| BEST CAST
| No stars I recognized yet. | Kevin Costner (Dances with Wolves) and Keira Knightley (Pirates of the Caribbean) | The voices of Brendan Fraser, Liam Neeson, Katherine Heigl, and Maya Rudolph | Kevin Hart (Think Like a Man), John Leguizamo (Romeo and Juliet), and Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix) | Jack Ryan and Ride Along will also split the point for best cast (because I love Keira Knightley and Kevin Hart) |
| BEST STREET CRED | Two of the ten directors of V/H/S directed this movie. | Director Kenneth Branagh also directed Thor and has acted in a ton of movies. | Writer Lorne Cameron also wrote Brother Bear and Over the Hedge. | Director Tim Story also directed Barbershop, Fantastic Four, and Think Like a Man. | And like a bowling turkey, Jack Ryan and Ride Along will split another point for best street cred. |
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