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The first quartet of teams debates the virtues of the U-Turn. They all need to hurry because the pair of all-women teams is less than an hour behind the first place team. There will be no need for bunching this week. Whoever reaches the U-Turn first will be well positioned to survive the leg. The team or teams who are punished with a U-Turn will struggle to survive. This is one of those situations where popularity matters. Four teams should be breathing a sigh of relief while four players sweat profusely.

Forget the shameless corporate tie-ins. The vehicle of choice this week is the speed buggy. The players arrive at a desert location to discover dune buggies. They will use these awesome looking rides to traverse the sand. Of course, before they can ride, Jason & Amy have to find their way to the designated spot. Alas, they get lost along the way and are forced to ask a hotel clerk for directions. Meanwhile, Nicole & Travis get stuck on a sand dune, which slows them down. The best two teams are off to a lackluster start while those annoying cousins are doing great. We hate recapping The Amazing Race.

You will never guess who backseat drives during the sand buggy adventure! Did you guess Marie? You must be the unholy offspring of a wizard and Nostradamus! Seriously, if we created a drinking game about Marie being a heinous bitch with her comments, everyone would be dead of alcohol poisoning by the first commercial break each week. Marie must not have ever heard the maxim that you’ll get more flies with honey. Alternately, maybe she was never interested in fly acquisition.

A moment ago, we mentioned that Nicole & Travis got stuck in a dune. Well, their issue was an annoyance. Nicky & Kim wind up with their vehicle 30% submerged in sand. Their only recourse to escape this plight is to dig out the sand with their hands. The middle of a leg of The Amazing Race is not the optimal time to build sand castles in 120 degree weather.

Oddly, the hockey cheerleaders have no problem whatsoever with this challenge. We are ready to write this off as them practicing on a Zamboni right up until they exclaim, “All those years at Pismo Dunes paid off!” Pismo Dunes has officially received a stronger endorsement than the Ford Explorer, the car shamelessly pimped during the opening segment.

Eventually, the bunnies are informed that they have ruined the clutch in their dune buggy. They have to exchange it for a functional one that is not smothered in sand. To their credit, they think the whole thing is hysterical during their post-incident monologue. We are glad because we feel guilty laughing at the sheer volume of sand their dune buggy spits out as they try to escape. It looks like a sand funnel…or Iron Man escaping his desert imprisonment.

Jason & Amy continue to lament their lack of Google Maps access. Jason the driver is informed of some basic guidelines by his girlfriend, the navigator. “When you go left four times, you are back to where you started,” the exasperated woman states through clinched teeth. This marks the second real conflict they have experienced with each other this season. Ordinarily, they only exchange harsh words with Marie.

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