This Weekend, Watch This: A comparison for the new releases for November 8-10, 2013

This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for November 8-10, 2013

By Curt David

November 8, 2013

I also plan on appearing in The Hobbit this December!

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (The Lone Ranger), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Kat Dennings in Big Mamma’s House 2), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 12%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of November 8th, the new film opening in wide release is Thor: The Dark World. In fewer theaters are the movies 12 Years a Slave and About Time (and the movie All is Lost is also released into some theaters).

	Thor: The Dark World	12 Years a Slave	About Time	WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest Title	Thor sequel!	A movie about slavery	Who knows?	Thor: The Dark World has the most recognizable title. Point.
Best Genre and Rating	Sci-fi Action Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence, and some suggestive content	Drama Biography Rated R for violence/cruelty, some nudity and brief sexuality	Romantic Comedy Rated R for language and some sexual content	Three different genres! Score. 1/3 point each.
Best Plot (in haiku form)	Thor needs his brother To help save the universe He has a hammer	Black man is free man Kidnapped, made a southern slave Won’t lose will to live	Guy can time travel Uses it to win girl’s heart So, what could go wrong?	Three unique plots. Another 1/3 point each.
Best Trailer	PROS: Ties into Avengers, returning characters CONS: Didn’t care about the plot or what was at stake	PROS: Looks like a well-made engaging story CONS: None story wise, might have tough scenes to watch for some people	PROS: Quirky and loveable characters, cute plot CONS: Why is it rated R?	12 Years a Slave has the best trailer and looks like the best movie. Easy point.
Coolest Lead Actor	Chris Hemsworth from The Avengers, The Cabin in the Woods, and Snow White in the Huntsman	Chiwetel Ejiofor from American Gangster, Children of Men, and Salt.	Domhnall Gleeson was Bill Weasley in Harry Potter 8.	Chris Hemsworth is currently the coolest actor. Point for him.
Best Cast	Natalie Portman (Black Swan), Kat Dennings (2 Broke Girls), and Anthony Hopkins (Hannibal)	Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock), Paul Dano (Little Miss Sunshine), Michael Fassbender (X-Men: First Class), and Brad Pitt (Fight Club)	Rachel McAdams (from every chick flick) and Bill Nighy (Love Actually)	There’s even more famous people in 12 Years a Slave that I didn’t type. Point.
Best Street Cred For the Production	Director Alan Taylor also directed a ton of TV shows, like Game of Thrones.	Director Steve McQueen also wrote and directed Shame.	Writer and Director Richard Curtis also wrote Notting Hill, Bridget Jones’s Diary, Mr. Bean, and War Horse.	Richard Curtis (and his Oscar nomination for Four Weddings and a Funeral) will win the street cred point.

So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, 12 Years a Slave scores 2 and 2/3 points (and a gold star), Thor scores 2 and 2/3 points, and About Time scores 1 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you liked Love Actually, feel free to watch About Time. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Thor: A Dark World and 12 Years a Slave are the best movies to watch this weekend. Tie breaker in next conclusion.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. 12 Years a Slave’s “The extraordinary true story of Solomon Northup” wins the gold star and the tie break for this column!
Conclusion 3: I read an article that pointed out this is Rachel McAdams third film about time traveling (The Time Traveler’s Wife and Midnight in Paris). Fascinating. I did a quick look on IMDb and figure she’s been in seven romantic movies (it seems like she’s been in more, though, right?), which means- I can’t do the math- almost half of her romantic films are on time travel.

*Statistic is completely made up.

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