This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for June 21-23, 2013
By Curt David
June 21, 2013
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Helen Mirren in Teaching Mrs. Tingle), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 90%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.
I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.
For the weekend of June 21st, the new movies in wide release are Monsters University and World War Z. (The Bling Ring is also being released this weekend in a smaller number of venues.)
| Monsters University
| World War Z
| WINNER
(1 point per category) |
| Clearest Title | This is the sequel to Monsters, Inc., but you may not figure that out right from the title. | The title definitely shows it’s going to be a war movie. | I’m going to give each movie a half point for this round. |
Best Genre
and Rating | Animation
Rated G | Action/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for intense frightening zombie sequences, violence, and disturbing images. | Two different ratings. A 1/2 point each. |
Best Plot
(in haiku form) | When Mike and Sully
From Monsters Inc., were younger
They met in college | World is in danger
Billions turned into zombies
What can Brad Pitt do? | Both plots seem very interesting. Another 1/2 point each.
|
| Best Trailer | PROS: Lots of silly monsters at college, from Pixar’s Monsters Inc.
CONS: I didn’t laugh during the trailer, but kids probably would | PROS: Looks awesome, realistic for a zombie apocalypse movie.
CONS: It doesn’t explain what’s really happening in the world (But that made it even more engaging) | World War Z’s trailer was amazing! It made me consider buying a movie ticket, which is harder and harder to do these days. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | The voice of Billy Crystal from When Harry Met Sally and City Slackers. | Brad Pitt from se7en, Fight Club, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith | Both actors have their fan base, but as I am Brad Pitt’s body double*, I feel I should give him the point for World War Z. |
| Best Cast | The voices of John Goodman, Helen Mirren, Steve Buscemi, Sean Hayes, Charlie Day, Nathan Fillion, and several others! | Matthew Fox (Lost) | Usually voices don’t win this round, but this week they will. Point for Monsters University.
|
Best Street Cred
For the Production | One writer, Daniel Gerson, also wrote Monsters, Inc and contributed to many other films. | Director Marc Forster also directed The Kite Runner, Quantum of Solace, and Monster’s Ball. | Marc Forster has some street cred, that’s for sure. Point. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, World War Z scores 4 and 1/2 points (and a gold star) and Monsters University scores 2 and 1/2 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like Pixar sequels, feel free to watch Monsters University. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, World War Z is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. I couldn’t find any prominent taglines on either of the posters, but apparently World War Z has a tagline, “Remember Philly.” It’ll win a weak gold star.
Conclusion 3: I say this every time I type Nathan Fillion’s name in this column....Nathan Fillion looks EXACTLY like Jason Bateman. Some people may not see the resemblance, but I cannot tell any differences.
*Statistic is completely made up.
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