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8:25 AM Fox Movie Channel
The Day the Fish Came Out (1967 GRE-GB): Every time this film shows up on TV (and that’s not terribly often), I get tempted to watch it, and every time I end up regretting my decision. I’ve been playing this game since the mid 1970s and keep losing, but I’m going to give it one more shot this morning and hope The Day the Fish Came Out is better than I remember. Tom Courtenay and Colin Blakely star as airmen who survive a Greek Islands plane crash, in part thanks to their decision to jettison their cargo. Unfortunately, that cargo consists of a super secret weapon of mass destruction contained within a box marked Container Q, which washes ashore and ends up in the hands of a simple shepherd (Nikos Alexiou). Will the simple farmer open it and set off a deadly detonation, or will rescue mission leader Sam Wanamaker – disguised as a tourist - save the day? If memory serves, this is a badly botched variant on the Dr. Strangelove meme, but I recall it includes a glimpse of Candice Bergen in hot pants, so there’s that if you’re so inclined.

Saturday 5/11/13

3:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Indestructible Man (1955 USA): Somehow when you see the words "indestructible man," you don’t conjure up visions of Lon Chaney, Jr. Oh sure, I could buy Steve Reeves, James Coburn, or Sterling Hayden as indestructible. Heck, I even might consider Mike Mazurki for the title. But Creighton "rabbits, George!" Chaney? Nu-uh. Nonetheless, here he is in this independent cheapie as Butcher Benton, an executed criminal whose body is resurrected by scientists Robert Shayne and Joe Flynn (future Dean of Medvale College!). What would you do if you were a psychopath given a second chance at life? Why, get your revenge on the ones who done you wrong, of course, which is precisely what the reanimated Benton does. The Indestructible Man is terrible, but also terribly fun, its Los Angeles location footage adding a much welcome degree of verisimilitude to the proceedings. It’s followed at 4:30 AM by The Strangler (1964), in which Victor Buono plays an overweight serial killer.

Monday 5/13/13

3:45 AM Turner Classic Movies
Helpmates (1932 USA): Remember when TCM aired some Laurel and Hardy foreign language shorts a few months back, and I begged for more? Looks like someone was paying attention (or I just got lucky). Here’s a block of nine L & Hs (four of them making what I believe to be their TCM debuts), including two in English, six in Spanish, and one in French. The fun kicks off with the Anglophone Helpmates, in which Stan and Ollie try to fix things up around the house after a wild party...and before the wives get home. Naturally, things don’t go according to plan. It’s followed at 4:15 AM by 1934’s The Live Ghost, in which the boys encounter the supernatural on the high seas; at 4:45 AM by Ladrones, the Spanish language version of Night Owls (1930); at 5:30 AM by La Vida Nocturna, the Spanish version of Blotto (1930); at 6:15 AM by Tiembla y Titubea, the Spanish version of Below Zero (1930); at 6:45 AM by Noche de Duendes, the Spanish version of The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case (1930); at 7:45 AM by Politiqueras, the Spanish version of Chickens Come Home (1931); at 8:45 AM by Les Carottiers, the French language mash-up of Be Big! and Laughing Gravy (1931); and at 10:00 AM by Los Calaveros (1931), which duplicates the feat in Spanish.

4:30 AM HBO Signature
El Rumor de las Piedras (2011 VEN): Okay, I could be wrong on this point, but I think this is the TiVoPlex’s first Venezuelan motion picture. Oh, wait, no...it’s number two. I’d forgotten about the crime caper comedy Libertador Morales, el Justiciero, which showed up on HBO Signature a year or two ago. Reset: this is our first Venezuelan drama, a solid effort about a poor family trying to recover from a terrible flood whilst living in the slums of Caracas. Known in English as Rumble of the Stones, this was Venezuela’s official entry for the 2011 Academy Awards (ultimately, it wasn’t nominated).

9:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Dog Day Afternoon (1975 USA): I've been waiting years for TCM to give this one a widescreen airing, and tonight the wait is finally over. Legendary in its time for its depiction of gay bank robbers, Dog Day Afternoon features Al Pacino and John Cavale as the hapless duo who are simply hoping to steal enough money to pay for an operation. Instead, they find themselves enmeshed in a hostage situation and the focus of intense media coverage that soon becomes as much a part of the robbery as the crime itself. Pacino and Cavale are outstanding and Sidney Lumet's direction is near flawless.

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