Survivor: Caramoan - Episode 7

Tubby Lunchbox

By Ben Willoughby

March 28, 2013

Does she really race through busy city streets? At least that's not boring.

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Previously on Survivor, there was a tribe switch and the “new Gota had all the muscle, while Bikal... didn’t." Probst’s commentary continues on point with “on Gota, the fans took turns throwing each other under the bus”, but veers into fantasy when he claims that on Bikal they were “a hot commodity” despite there being no chance that a “favorite” would be going home.

We also learned that Corinne really, really, really likes “her gays." I wonder if it is like how Donald Trump has a good relationship with the blacks. Anyway, Bikal “fell apart” at the immunity challenge, possibly due to the tribe being on sleepy medications, and Matt was voted out.

After the credits, the miserable Bikals arrive back at camp, and Julia describes how she nearly peed herself, and how she had never come that close to peeing herself before. And people say she has no personality! Corinne consoles the “fans” with the news that she loved and adored Matt. And I’m sure she’ll love and adore Mike and Julia before voting for them.

Mike interviews how it sucks to have his closest ally in the game voted out, but face-to-face is playing it cool. “You don’t honestly have to explain yourself,” he says all Survivor-professional-like. He’ll be focussing on building trust and friendships.


Anyway, Corinne interviews that she wants Mike to stay and dump Phillip because gay trumps annoying, but regrets that she can’t make a move this early in the game. She has an up close and personal with Mike about going to the merge, kicking ass and taking names.

For Phillip, who seems to be watching, the feeling is mutual. He doesn’t like that Corinne is off having conversations with others without disclosing them to him – and that’s unacceptable! He has a moonlight chat with Cochran, which he probably didn’t disclose to anyone, about how he wants to get rid of Corinne. “Not next, though,” says Cochran, like a middle-manager to a CEO who has decided to move the company from selling gumboots to smartphones. “Maybe. I don’t want her going to the merge.” insists Phillip. Cochran urges caution, saying that the “favorites” on Gota won’t want to work with them if they have turned on one of their own, but Phillip gets right in Cochran’s face and whisper-maintains “This is me as a Federal agent. I don’t trust that woman.” Cochran makes a look at the camera that says “see what I have to work with.”

Next morning there is treemail, which to Bikal’s dismay implies they will need strength. Well, the dismay of everyone except Phillip, who insists he has great upper body strength and “without being arrogant, I’m almost certain I could win it.”

Corinne complains about Phillip’s “I’m the strongest guy out here” bravado, while Phillip talks about power-lifting and later interviews about how he likes to find suckers with big muscles who he can beat at arm-wrestling. “Phil Shepherd, Arm-Wrestling Hustler” sounds like it would be a failed pilot.

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