Survivor: Caramoan Premiere Recap Part II

By Ben Willoughby

February 16, 2013

Comic Book Guy gets quoted too much but I really am Worst. Survivor. Ever.

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Welcome back to the second half of the recap for the Survivor: Caramoan premiere!

Over at the “fans” camp, Eddie and Reynold show themselves to be idiots by agreeing that they both have targets on their back being good-looking, young, physically fit guys who are in no danger of being voted out early. Poor victimized alpha males!

Now Reynold is off talking with Allie about a “swear to God final 2” alliance. He thinks this is excellent, because it’s not obvious! The guys would want to pair up with him, and that’s obvious to Reynold. While Allie is “not the cutest” and “under the radar,” so no one will suspect a thing! If Reynold had ever seen an episode of Survivor, he would know by now that it is a completely obvious way to play the game.

Later that evening, Eddie and (reviews the tape) Hope are out looking at the stars. Apparently this creates some profound mystical connection between the two, and they cement an alliance based on being “the best-looking people there.” He is swooning over his “Southern belle.” “Whoa, we both like stars.”

Later that night, Laura is interviewing that everyone is just looking for body warmth, but Reynold and Allie are cuddling a lot! Enough that I can see Allie has a tattoo of a musical note on her lower back. On night one! Way to keep things under the radar and not completely obvious, Reynold.


The next day on the “favorites” camp, everyone is hot. Cochran, however, seems to be dressing in layers, and it’s because he’s incredibly sunburned. Cochran was “literally not aware how quickly he could become sunburned” like he’s never been to a beach before. Actually, that might be believable if he hadn’t played Survivor before. Brenda describes poor Cochran as “like a little tomato” and his “feet are swollen like a little pregnant lady”. Cochran interviews that he is in “horrible pain” but he is trying to stay strong and make self-deprecating Chandler Bing-style jokes about lobsters and dying that fool no one.

At the “fans” beach, we are treated to the sight of Shamar doing some really painful-looking wide-stance leg-stretches for whichever camera-person drew the short straw. Reynold, Eddie, Allie and Hope are all hanging out in the water, and commenting gleefully about how it’s “high school all over again” with them at the “cool kids lunch table” and how everyone else wants to be with them. Eddie even interviews “I don’t think anyone else is going to be at our table”. Can’t he count beyond four?

It’s completely obvious to the people back on the beach, as Julia complains about the “sleeping situation” and Sherri notes that you have to “break up couples.” “They were hooking up,” she interviews. Sherri, Laura, Julia and Michael all agree that one of the pretty alliance members has to go.

However, Michael interviews that he told the ladies he was with them but is actually “hip to either direction” and “will go where is best for me.” There’s a lot of potential in allying with a group of four stupid people, who are in obvious pairs and all full of themselves. Michael bonds with Matt, another obvious outsider, and fills him in on the two developing camps of cool kids and ugmos. Matt wants to play a laid-back game and thinks “everyone is jumping the gun,” but Michael says “there are plusses and minuses to both options” and “you and me will decide which way to go.” “If we win immunity, and we keep winning, we won’t have to make that decision for a while,” says Matt.

Continued:       1       2       3       4       5



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