|Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters||Parker||Movie 43||WINNER|
(1 point per category)
|Clearest Title||Aren’t those the kids from the fairy tale? ||I don’t know what or who Parker is. ||This is just a number after the word movie. ||Hansel & Gretel gets the point for the clearest point. |
Rated R for strong fantasy horror violence and gore, brief sexuality/nudity, and language.
Rated R for strong violence, language throughout, and brief sexual content/nudity.
Rated R for strong pervasive crude and sexual content including dialogue, graphic nudity, language, some violence, and drug use.
|I don’t often type fantasy in this column, so point for Hansel and Gretel. |
(in haiku form)
|Hansel and Gretel|
Grown-ups with guns and crossbows
Hunting them witches.
|Tough man wants payback|
Teams up with sexy J.Lo
To bring down bad guys.
|Very famous cast|
Does film with raunchy humor
There’s not more to say.
|Hansel and Gretel has the best sounding concept for a movie. Third point in a row. |
|Best = Trailer||+ Lots of witch killing action|
- But didn’t seem fun to watch
- And how do they have guns in old times?
|+ Jennifer Lopez in a Jason Statham movie |
- Plot seems very typical
- Nothing in the trailer stood out as awesome to me
|+ There are seriously a lot of famous people in the movie |
+ It’s like Valentine’s Day, but with potty humor
- Don’t know if there’s a plot
|Movie 43 is the only movie I sort of want to see after watching the trailers. |
|Coolest Lead Actor||Jeremy Renner from Avengers, The Hurt Locker, and The Bourne Legacy. ||Jason Statham from Crank, The Transporter, and The Expendables. ||Halle Berry, Uma Thurman, Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet, Liev Schreiber, Kristen Bell, Johnny Knoxville, Justin Long, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse.||I don’t know who is the lead, but Movie 43 has to win for the coolest actor. |
|Best Cast||Famke Janssen (X-men trilogy)
||Jennifer Lopez (Out of Sight), Michael Chiklis (The Shield), and Nick Nolte (Warrior) ||Richard Gere, Terrence Howard, Hugh Jackman, Jason Sudeikis, Kate Bosworth, Gerard Butler, Josh Duhamel, Anna Faris, Emma Stone, and Chloe Moretz||And there’s even more cast members! Another point for Movie 43. |
|Best Street Cred|
For the Production
|Writer and Director Tommy Wirkola has written and directed a lot of Norwegian films. ||Director Taylor Hackford also directed An Officer and a Gentleman and Ray. ||It also has ten directors! Including Elizabeth Banks, Steven Brill (Mr. Deeds), Steve Carr (Paul Blart), and seven more! ||So they probably all directed separate short films, but the directing list is awesome! Dang, another point! |