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This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for 11/21/12 - 11/25/12

By Curt David

November 23, 2012

They're in a tight spot.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (You might be surprised if you mixed up Magnolia and Steel Magnolias). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My alphabetical crush list... T is for anyone in The Hunger Games).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For Thanksgiving weekend, the new movies in wide release are Life of Pi, Red Dawn, and Rise of the Guardians.


Life of PiRed DawnRise of the GuardiansWinner
(One point per category)
Clearest TitleThis is the same title as a novel. This is the same title as a 1984 movie. This title is based on a series of children's books.I haven't heard of any of the originals, so each will get 1/3 point for lack of clarity.
Best Genre
and Rating
Adventure/Drama
Rated PG for emotional thematic content throughout, and some scary action sequences and peril
Action
Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense war violence and action, and for language.
Animation
Rated PG for thematic elements and some mildly scary action.
Three different genres, so another 1/3 point all around.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
N/A

0/5 - Shame
"This Thanksgiving, The Fight Begins at Dawn"

3/5 - Very clear. I approve.
"Naughty, Nice. You better believe."

2/5 - I get the Santa reference, but I don't get this tagline.
This Thanksgiving, only one tagline makes sense. Point for Red Dawn.
Best Part of TrailerTrailer looked like an epic adventure, with great visual effects.Trailer had teenagers that had to fight and save the USA.Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, and The Easter Bunny fight together to save the world.The Pi trailer wins hands down. Point. (Check out conclusions for bonus points)
Coolest Lead ActorThis is lead actor Suraj Sharma's first film. Chris Hemsworth from The Avengers, Thor, and Snow White and the Huntsman.The voice of Chris Pine from Star Trek and Unstoppable.Suraj may be the best actor, but I'll give Chris Hemsworth the cool points for now.
Best CastIrrfan Khan (Slumdog Millionaire)Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games) and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Watchmen)And the voices of Alec Baldwin, Jude Law, Isla Fisher, and Hugh Jackman.Actors from The Hunger Games automatically get points in this column.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Ang Lee has also directed Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Hulk, and Brokeback Mountain.One of the writers, Carl Ellsworth, also wrote Red Eye, Disturbia, and The Last House on the Left.Writer David Lindsay-Abaire also wrote Robots and Inkheart.Ang Lee has the best street cred. Point for him.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Red Dawn scores 3 and 2/3 points, Life of Pi scores 2 and 2/3 points, and Rise of the Guardians scores 2/3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you enjoyed How to Train Your Dragon, feel free to watch Rise of the Guardians. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Red Dawn is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I watched the trailer for Life of Pi in the movie theater, and the trailer was actually just a two minute clip of the tiger/boat/flying fish scene and I declared there that that was the best trailer I have ever seen in my life (+2 bonus points for best trailer ever). After that scene, I knew I needed to see this movie.
Conclusion 3: So in a This Weekend Watch This first, the movie that won the week in the first conclusion ends up losing, because Life of Pi now has the most points in the column and is now declared the best movie to watch this weekend.



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