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Survivor: Philippines Power Rankings

Episode 9

By Ben Willoughby

November 14, 2012

He's pointing in the direction of the dude about to be eliminated.

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After last week’s disastrous elimination of Jeff Kent mere hours after I declared him the favorite to win Survivor: Philippines, your chastened recapper is obviously not the Nate Silver of Survivor. Oh well, I only gave him a 20% chance of winning, and he didn’t win, so in a round-about way I was actually correct.

On to this week’s power rankings

1. Malcolm

After last week’s Tribal Council shenanigans, everyone knows Malcolm has an idol and also that he’s not afraid to use it, or at least threaten to use it. So everyone will want to be his friend, and also everyone will want to blind-side him. His name didn’t even come up in the votes last week, which should really make him worry. Anyway, he is now on the outs with Tandang and any new anti-Tandang alliance will be centred on him.

2. Lisa

The Tandang alliance has trust issues and always needs someone to pick on. So people like Michael have other people to talk to and aren’t forcibly ostracised, it’s no surprise that they start picking on Lisa this week for being “disloyal." What a bunch of dopes. Of course, this only moves Lisa a few places up the Power Rankings. She’s the only likeable one in the League of Miserable Chucklenuts, and if she makes it to the Final Three with any combination of them she’d sweep the jury. Of course, they are likely to let her go before it gets to that and she knows it, so she’s also likely to flip. Options, options.




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3. Jonathan

After last week’s immunity challenge win, you couldn’t wipe the smile off his face if you slapped him with a fish. And now that Jeff Kent is gone, there’s no one trying every angle to get Jonathan out. So Jonathan had a good week and that bumps him up more than a few slots on the power rankings. It will be interesting to see how the post-vote talk goes down, since he led the call for getting rid of Pete and then was responsible for flipping his vote to Abi, getting rid of Jeff Kent in the process.

4. Denise

Everyone’s watching so-called power players – Pete, Malcolm, Jonathan - and no one’s watching quiet little Denise. They’ll regret that later on. I’m still convinced everyone knows about her “secret” alliance with Malcolm, but when Probst pointed out last Tribal Council that Denise was one of the Kalabaw four, there was no eye-rolling or jarring sound effects, and you know how Survivor editors lap that up. Anyway, she’s still around, ready to cast a vote with whoever needs it. Go Denise!

5. Abi

Everyone knows that Abi has the idol and that she’s willing to use it to “protect her alliance." Selflessly! I think it was an extremely bad move for her to pull it out when Pete’s name came up in discussion before the vote. Before, everyone assumed that someone on the Tandang alliance had it, but they weren’t sure who. Now they know that Abi has it, that she’ll probably be the one holding it at Tribal Council and she can only protect one person with it. So if anyone wants to take on the Tandang alliance, a bit of misdirection and chaos should do it. I’ll put Abi ahead of Pete and Artis because she has the idol.

6. Pete

Pete blew it several times last episode. He had inside information about Malcolm’s idol, and he decides to tip Malcolm off instead of blind-siding him, leading Malcolm on a charge to get rid of Pete When I started recapping this season, I swore I was never going to invoke his name, but Pete is making Russell Hantz look like a mastermind.

7. Artis

Artis is still the boring one on the Tandang alliance, which is really saying something since that alliance also includes Pete. I enjoyed him more this week, but I wonder how Artis spends his time now he’s back in the States? I picture him reading Survivor recaps while sharpening a big knife and deciding which Internet person to fillet first.

8. Carter

Carter with no Jeff Kent. How will he decide what to do? He doesn’t have a close bond with anyone else, so I wonder if the smart thing for him is to flip over to the Tandang alliance as their fifth vote – assuming they don’t tie Lisa to a stake and burn her – and see how far that takes him.

9. Michael

Michael – still a doofus. I mean, you’re in an “alliance” with people you hate and who hate you, and you have it explained very plainly that you’re at the bottom and you still vote with them? I know you’re flying under the radar and wanting to be loyal to Lisa and just waiting for a final three opportunity, but come on! They are not going to give you final three.

Anyway, we’ll see how this behaviorally-challenged herd of lunatic cats on amphetamines during a full moon gets it together for their vote tonight. Well, you all will. I’ll be on vacation, and Jim Van Nest will be doing the next recap. See you next week!


     


 
 

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