This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for October 26-28, 2012

By Curt David

October 26, 2012

Fast food in the future isn't any less depressing.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, The General’s Daughter, Coal Miner’s Daughter, and First Daughter all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My alphabetical actress crush list... P is for Freida Pinto).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of October 26th, the new movies in wide release are Chasing Mavericks, Cloud Atlas, Fun Size, and Silent Hill: Revelation 3D.


Chasing MavericksCloud AtlasFun SizeSilent Hill: Revelation 3DWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleSounds like an action filmSounds like a popular novel (or am I thinking Atlas Shrugged?)Sounds like candy you give out for HalloweenSounds like a sequel to Silent HillSilent Hill has the most recognizable title. Point.
Best Genre
and Rating
Sports Drama
Rated PG for thematic elements and some perilous action.
Sci-Fi Drama
Rated R for violence, language, sexuality/nudity, and some drug use.
Comedy
Rated PG-13 for crude and suggestive material, partying, and language.
Horror
Rated R for violence and disturbing images, some language, and brief nudity.
This is a nice variety. I happily give 1/4 point to each movie.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
Legends start somewhere

2/5 - That’s true, but that wasn’t too shocking of a statement.
Everything is Connected

2/5 - Also true, and matter-of-fact.
Some people just can’t handle Halloween

2/5 - Makes sense.
This Halloween prepare for a 3D ride through hell

4/5 - Finally, something interesting!
Three of these things belong together (boring), can you guess which one doesn’t belong? The fun Silent Hill tagline gets a point.
Best Part of TrailerI’m a sucker for an inspirational trailer. Looks decent.There we go! A trailer that is epic and engaging!I laughed at one part. Racy for a Nickelodeon film.It was interesting concept for a horror trailer. Cloud Atlas wins its first full point.
Coolest Lead ActorGerard Butler from 300 and Phantom of the Opera.Tom Hanks from Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, and Big.Victoria Justice from iCarly and Zoey101. Sean Bean from The Lord of the Rings.Tom Hanks oozes coolness from his pores. He’ll easily win this point.
Best CastElisabeth Shue (Back to the Future II and III)Halle Berry (X-men), Hugo Weaving (The Matrix), Susan Sarandon (Thelma & Louise), and Hugh Grant (Notting Hill)Chelsea Handler (Chelsea Lately)Carrie Anne-Moss (The Matrix)And continuing the sweep, Cloud Atlas has the best cast too.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Directed by Michael Apted (The World is Not Enough, Coal Miner’s Daughter) and Curtis Hanson (8 Mile, L.A.Confidential)Directed by Tom Tykwer (Paris je t’aime) and the Wachowskis (The Matrix Trilogy) Written by Max Werner who also wrote for The Colbert ReportWritten and directed by Michael J. Bassett who also wrote and directed Solomon KanE Chasing Mavericks and Cloud Atlas will split the point for best street cred.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Cloud Atlas scores 3 and 3/4 points, Silent Hill Revelation 3D scores 2 and 3/4 points, and Chasing Mavericks and Fun Size each score 1/4 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you want to see a good looking surfing movie, feel free to watch Chasing Mavericks. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Cloud Atlas is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I messed up the words, but I was indeed trying to reference a Sesame Street Song in this column.
Conclusion 3: Fyi- I was confused when I saw that the Wachowski Brothers that directed The Matrix, were also directing Cloud Atlas, but it was actually a brother and a sister. One of the brothers just transitioned into being a female.



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