This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for October 4-6, 2012

By Curt David

October 5, 2012

Liam Neeson does not like random thugs.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, The Prince of Egypt, The Prince of Tides, and Prince of Persia all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My alphabetical actress crush list...M is for Mila Kunis).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of October 5th, the new movies in wide release are Frankenweenie, Taken 2, and Pitch Perfect.


Frankenweenie Taken 2 Pitch Perfect WINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThis title does not suggest anything to me. This title suggests Liam Neeson is going to kill people again. This title suggests a musical. Taken 2 is the most recognizable title, and will take this point.
Best Genre
and Rating
Animation
Rated PG for thematic elements, scary images, and action.
Thriller
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and some sensuality.
Music Comedy
Rated PG-13 for sexual material, language, and drug references.
It’s going to be a good weekend - all different genres! 1/3 point each!
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
N/A

0/5 Really? Nothing. Don’t want to help us out with the movie concept? Okay.
First they took his daughter, now they are coming for him.

4/5 This quickly establishes the purpose and the plot for a sequel.
Get Pitch Slapped.

4/5 It’s a pun, hilarious!
Taken 2 and Pitch Perfect split the point for awesome taglines. Pitch Slapped...haha.
Best Part of TrailerIt had a throw-back to original horror trailers, very interesting. Wonder if kids will find it funny, though? Yee-haw! Perfect blend of action and family dynamics! Hahahah. I laughed outloud like five different times- unheard of for a trailer. Liam Neeson, you would normally make a trailer, but have you met Rebel Wilson? Point for Pitch Perfect.
Coolest Lead ActorThe voice of Winona Ryder from Edward Scissorhands, Mr. Deeds, and Girl Interrupted. Liam Neeson from Taken, Schindler’s List, and Star Wars. Anna Kendrick from Up in the Air, 50/50, and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Liam Neeson, you would normally be the coolest actor, and you are this week. Point for Taken 2.
Best CastAlso the voices of Catherine O’Hara (Home Alone) and Martin Short (SNL) Famke Janssen (The X-Men trilogy) Brittany Snow (Hairspray) and Rebel Wilson (Bridesmaids) All three movies have awesome talent. 1/3 point each.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Writer and Director Tim Burton from Edward Scissorhands, Corpse Bride, and Batman Returns. Writer Luc Besson has also written Taken, The Fifth Element, and The Transporter. Director Jason Moore has also directed several TV shows. Tim Burton has some of the most street cred in all of Hollywood. Point for him.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Taken 2 scores 3 and 1/6 points, Pitch Perfect scores 2 and 1/6 points, and Frankenweenie scores 1 and 2/3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like a certain genre, feel free to just watch that movie. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Taken 2 is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Luc Besson has also written one of my favorite films, District B-13, which stars the creator of parkour.
Conclusion 3: I saw Pet Sematary when I was way too young. It freaked me out for years. I wish I saw the animals-rise-from-the-dead movie Frankenweenie instead back then.
Conclusion 4: Pitch Slapped...hahahaha.



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