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Friday 9/14/12

1:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
Crest of the Wave (1954 GB): This British war film was originally released as Seagulls Over Sorrento, which is an even wimpier title than Crest of the Wave. What kind of producer churns out a war flick called Seagulls Over Sorrento? It sounds like it should be a romantic comedy with Dirk Bogarde, but it’s actually a two-fisted tale of, er, Gene Kelly working on some demolitions experiments off the coast of Scotland. Hmm, no Lee Marvin, no Audie Murphy...I guess Seagulls Over Sorrento is appropriate after all. I haven’t seen this film in ages, but I’m pretty sure Gene neither sings nor dances with co-stars Bernard Lee, John Justin, and Sid “Carry On” James. It’s followed at 3:00 PM by The Sea Around Us (1956), Irwin Allen’s Oscar-winning documentary based on Rachel Carson’s best-selling book.

Saturday 9/15/12

9:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Captive Girl (1950 USA): Jungle Jim (Johnny Weissmuller) crosses figurative swords with villain Barton (Buster Crabbe) in this predictably lame and reliably cheap looking series entry from the Sam Katzman production line. Barton’s out to steal some jungle treasure, whilst Jim must work to rescue damsel in distress Joan (swimming champ Anita Lhoest, in her only screen appearance) from the slimy grasp of wicked witch doctor Hakim (John Dehner). If you never thought you’d see a film in which Buster Crabbe wasn’t the worst actor, you should definitely check out Captive Girl.

5:00 PM HBO
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011 USA): Here’s one of my guilty pleasures from last year. Of course, I was also in the “it’s not that bad” camp regarding Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes remake, so I’m probably not the most reliable critic when it comes to movies about monkeys. (Yes, I know monkeys aren’t apes. Thanks for reminding me.) Anyhoo, I actually found ROTPOTA quite engaging, and the ape effects are pretty good if you’re a special effects geek. As for the humans – well, Andy Serkis makes for a good monkey, doesn’t he? (YES, I know monkeys aren’t apes. Thanks for reminding me.) Also airs at 8:00 PM and throughout the month.

Sunday 9/16/12

2:10 AM Starz in Black
Futuresport (1998 USA): Juice man Ernest Dickerson directed this (mostly) African-American variation on the “bleak future where people are entertained by gladiatorial competitions” meme. Former Superman Dean Cain headlines as Tre Ramzey, a Futuresport superstar who tries to prevent World War III by setting up a super-duper Futuresport joust between super-powers America and Australia. There’s also some guff about a guerrilla army fighting for Hawaiian independence, whilst Vanessa Williams pops up as Alex, a reporter covering Futuresport who also happens to be Tre’s significant other. Tres convenient! If you’re not convinced to watch yet, here’s the clincher: the dreadlocked Jamaican guy who invented Futuresport is played by Wesley Snipes. Boom shaka!

7:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Love and Pain (and the Whole Damn Thing) (1972 USA): This one is definitely TiVoPlex title of the week! Produced by Columbia, LPWDT sank into obscurity almost immediately, but is well worth your time. It’s a character study starring That’s My Bush star Timothy Bottoms as Walter Elbertson, a college-age lad touring his way across Spain. (Remember That’s My Bush? It was funny until 9/11, then it was just very, very sad.) En route he meets older woman Lila Fisher (Maggie Smith), and the two recognize each other as kindred spirits despite their difference in age. Intelligently written by Alvin Sargent (two mentions in one week!) and well-directed by Alan Pakula, LPWDT is a typical, and typically excellent, example of character-driven seventies cinema. The fine location footage, shot by Geoffrey Unsworth, is an added bonus.

Monday 9/17/12

Midnight Starz
The Wicker Tree (2010): This film really should be better than it is. A sequel of sorts to 1973’s The Wicker Man, The Wicker Tree was written and directed by Robin Hardy, the man responsible for directing that unforgettable tribute to things pagan and profane. Sadly, however, the results are mediocre at best: the film’s two lead characters, Texans on a Christian mission to Scotland, are as thick as two bricks, and the story surprisingly routine. That said, Scotland always looks nice on film, and there are a few satisfyingly shocking moments. Also airs at 3:00 AM.

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