This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for August 10-12, 2012

By Curt David

August 9, 2012

Zach Galifianakis should have eaten Chick-Fil-A.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, Runaway Jury, Runaway Bride, The Kite Runner, and Cool Runnings all have different plots). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My alphabetical actress crush list...E is for Emma Stone.)

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of August 10th, the new movies in wide release are The Bourne Legacy, The Campaign, and Hope Springs (plus a movie called Nitro Circus opening in a smaller amount of theatres).


The Bourne Legacy The Campaign Hope Springs WINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleAnother Bourne movie??? Not sure about the genre of this movie. This movie probably has romance in it. The Bourne movie gets the point for having the most recognizable title.
Best Genre
and Rating
Action
Rated PG-13 for violence and action sequences.
Comedy
Rated R for crude sexual content, language, and brief nudity.
Dramedy
Rated PG-13 for mature thematic content involving sexuality.
Each film will get 1/3 of a point for having a slightly different genre and rating.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
“There Was Never Just One.”

2/5 - Interesting, but what? No Matt Damon?
“May the Best Loser Win.”

3/ 5- Funny, cause both are losers in the campaign.
“Fall in Love Again this August.”

1/5 -While plot related, it does not make me want to watch this movie.
Not the strongest week, but at least each title had one. The Campaign will win this vote.
Best Part of TrailerIt looked action packed (although I wasn’t awestruck and there was no Damon). A lot funnier than I expected (although I don’t expect much from these types of comedies) It wasn’t that bad too watch (okay, I enjoyed it, but that might be because Meryl Streep is a wizard) Honestly, all three trailers were equally fine with me. 1/3 points all around. (Life of Pi - now that’s a trailer!)
Coolest Lead ActorJeremy Renner from The Avengers, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and The Hurt Locker. Will Ferrell from Anchorman, SNL, and Elf. Meryl Streep from The Devil Wears Prada, The Iron Lady, and Mamma Mia! Jeremy Renner is pretty hot right now (I mean that in the heterosexual popularity way), so he’ll split the point with the famous Streep.
Best CastEdward Norton (Fight Club) and Rachel Weisz (The Mummy) Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover), Jason Sudeikis (SNL), and Dylan McDermott, John Lithgow, and Dan Aykroyd. Tommy Lee Jones (Men in Black), Steve Carell (The Office), and Jean Smart. While not a landslide victory, The Campaign will win this round.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Writer and Director Tony Gilroy also wrote the other Bourne movies and directed Michael Clayton. Director Jay Roach has also directed the Austin Powers and the Meet the Parents’ movies. Director David Frankel has also directed The Devil Wears Prada and Marley & Me. Oh shoot. The director of Austin Powers or the writer of the Bourne movies? I’ll let those two guys split the point.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Campaign scores 3 and 1/6 points, The Bourne Legacy scores 2 and 2/3 points, and Hope Springs scores 1 and 1/6 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like Meryl Streep or can’t stop yourself from watching her movies, feel free to watch Hope Springs. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Campaign is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Just saw the trailer for Playing For Keeps. Overall trailer was average, but the seconds that Catherine Zeta-Jones was in it were absolutely exceptional.
Conclusion 3: While I sometimes talk in hyperbole, I really mean the next statement: Joan Allen (who unfortunately might only have a cameo in this Bourne movie) gave one of my all-time favorite and most impressive acting performances ever in the movie The Crucible.



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