This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for July 3-8, 2012

By Curt David

July 5, 2012

I thought this was a concert movie, not Battleship.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, Elizabeth, Emma, Carrie, and Heathers all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (Emma Stone is in theaters this week!!!)

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the Fourth of July weekend, the new movies in wide release are The Amazing Spider-Man (7/3/12), Katy Perry: Part of Me (7/6/12), and Savages (7/6/12).


The Amazing Spider-Man Katy Perry: Part of Me Savages WINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleA movie about Spider-Man! A movie about Katy Perry. A movie about savages? This one is less than clear. Spider-Man is one of the most iconic names of all time. Easy point.
Best Genre
and Rating
Action
Rated PG-13 for sequences of action and violence.
Music Documentary
Rated PG for some suggestive content, language, thematic elements, and brief smoking.
Crime/Drama
Rated R for strong brutal and grisly violence, some graphic sexuality, nudity, drug use and language throughout.
Three different genres, three different ratings. Perfect week. Each will get 1/3 of a point.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
The untold story begins.

3/5 - It’s a new Spiderman origins story? Intriguing.
Be yourself and you can be anything.

2/5 - You don’t get more inspirational than this.
N/A

0/5 - It’ll be tough to win this round without one.
Weak round of taglines. Spider-Man barely gets this point.
Best Part of TrailerIt looks exciting. Also, Emma Stone gots some looks. I secretly like Katy Perry, so the trailer was fine. Little weird, but looks well done. After watching the trailers, I want to see The Amazing Spider-Man the most. Point.
Coolest Lead ActorAndrew Garfield from The Social Network and Never Let Me Go. It’s a documentary about Katy Perry. Taylor Kitsch from Friday Night Lights and Wolverine. I actually think all three names here are quite famous. 1/3 of a point for them all.
Best CastEmma Stone (Easy A), Denis Leary (Rescue Me), Martin Sheen (The West Wing), and Sally Field (Forrest Gump) Other singers and dancers being themselves. Blake Lively (Gossip Girl), Benicio Del Toro (Traffic), John Travolta (Grease), Salma Hayek (Frida), and Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild) Wowzer. Close round. I have crushes on Emma Stone and Emile Hirsch, but Sally Field is going to bring the point home to Spider-Man.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Marc Webb has also directed (500) Days of Summer. Directors Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz have produced a ton of tv series. Director Oliver Stone has also directed Platoon, Wall Street, and World Trade Center. Oliver Stone. He’s one of those directors where everyone knows his name. He wins the street cred point.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Amazing Spider-Man scores 4 and 2/3 points, Savages scores 1 and 2/3 points, and Katy Perry: Part of Me scores 2/3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are a teenage girl, feel free to watch Katy Perry this weekend. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Amazing Spider-Man is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Into the Wild and Easy A are two of my favorite movies from this past decade.
Conclusion 3: Emma Stone, this is crazy, but if you’re reading this, call me maybe. (Emile, same message.)



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