This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for June 1, 2012
By Curt David
June 1, 2012
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, Harry Potter, Dirty Harry, and When Harry Met Sally all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (two weeks until I can see Catherine Zeta-Jones on screen again!).
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of June 1st, the only new movie in wide release is Snow White and the Huntsman. Since I have nothing else to do, I’ll compare this new movie to the Disney’s 1937 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
| Snow White and the Huntsman | Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs | WINNER
(1 point per category) |
| Clearest Title | This film is going to be about Snow White. | This film is going to be about Snow White. | The seven dwarfs are more famous than the huntsman, giving the point to the animated film. |
Best Genre
and Rating | Action/Adventure:
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and brief sensuality | Animation:
Rated G | In 1937, animation was cooler (and the first full-length animated cel movie ever), but today the fairest genre for Snow White goes to live-action. Point. |
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars) | “From the producer of Alice in Wonderland”
0/5 - That’s not a tagline, nor is it enticing. | “His first full-length feature production”
1/5 - That’s not a tagline, but very enticing in 1937. | A second point for the animated Snow White. |
| Best Part of Trailer | It looks really good. I liked the plot. | Watching a trailer from 1937 was very interesting, but not as exciting. | A second point for the live-action Snow White. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Kristen Stewart from Twilight, Into the Wild, and Panic Room. | Adriana Caselotti from the voice of Snow White. | Panic Room and Into the Wild were amazing movies. Point for Stewart. |
| Best Cast | Chris Hemsworth (The Avengers) and Charlize Theron (The Italian Job) | Dopey and Grumpy. | Normally Dopey woud win this point, but with the success of The Avengers, the live-action film wins another point. |
Best Street Cred
For the Production | Co-producer Sarah Bradshaw has also produced 10,000 BC, Miami Vice, and Syriana. | Producer Walt Disney has also produced 655 movie titles. | There is no one that can beat Walt Disney in this category. |
So, out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Snow White and the Huntsman scores 4 points and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs scores 3 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are under 13-years-old, feel free to watch the animated Snow White. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, Snow White and the Huntsman is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Dwarfs or Dwarves? I wondered this, google searched this, and apparently dwarfs is usually correct, unless you are in a J.R.R. Tolkein book.
Conclusion 3: In the Grimms' Snow White, the huntsman AND the prince fell in love with Snow White. Awkward.
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