Trailer Trash

By Samuel Hoelker

May 29, 2012

He needs a good dentist. And a good ophthalmologist.

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Time travel, in movies, should be treated delicately. You have to a) set up your rules, b) make your rules believable, and c) adhere to your rules. You can have goofy things happen (really? The person is literally going to disappear from the picture?), but you need to have the audience’s trust in your handling of it. That’s not something that Men in Black 3 does.

Any unique element is strictly for the sake of the plot (did you know that the distance from the top of the Chrysler Building and the top of the Apollo 11 space shuttle are EXACTLY the same and EXACTLY the right distance for time travel?), and it’s never uniform – things that happen to our hero Agent J conveniently don’t happen to our villain Boris the Animal (oh yeah, there’s actually a villain in this movie, played by Jemaine Clement. Don’t worry, the movie didn’t give him much thought either). It’s a mess, and it’s almost insulting how much we’re supposed to go along with when the film itself doesn’t put any effort into making it fun (which is what time travel should always be).

“But Sam,” you’re saying, “isn’t the point of a summer action blockbuster to just have fun? You don’t need to overanalyze everything!” And I would be saying how you’re incorrect. We’re willing to accept flaws, conveniences, and some shortcuts if a film is written well and intelligently. If something is obviously slapdash and made for a profit instead of storytelling, we’ll give it the credit it deserves.




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You know who deserves credit, though? Josh Brolin. When everyone involved is lazy (Will Smith goes through the motions, Tommy Lee Jones is barely in it, and the effects look like they were left on the editing room floor of Lockout), Brolin gives his K a new life by doing the Tommy Lee Jones that Tommy Lee Jones wasn’t allowed to do. It’s a spot-on job; it’s one of the most effective uses of two actors playing the same character I’ve ever seen. It’s quite obvious, too, that Brolin deserves the credit for this. Barry Sonnenfeld didn’t even open his eyes when directing this movie. Also, Michael Stuhlbarg is just a delight.

Final verdict: if you were afraid that Men in Black 3 was going to be just a cheap, lazy cash-in, your fears have been verified. Goodbye, Barry Sonnenfeld. I’ll remember you and Tim Burton as you were in your prime, not in the last 15 years.


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