This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for December 9, 2011
By Curt David
December 9, 2011
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, The King and I, The Scorpion King, The Lion King, and King Kong all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (Catherine Zeta-Jones is in a new movie called Playing the Field coming out this Spring!).
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of December 9th, the movies in wide release are New Year's Eve and The Sitter.
|New Year's Eve||The Sitter||WINNER
(1 point per category)|
|Clearest Title||Could be any genre. Most likely romantic comedy or action/thriller.||Could be any genre. Most likely comedy or horror. ||New Year's Eve is popular. So are babysitters. Both movies will split the point. |
Rated PG-13 for language including some sexual references.||Comedy:
Rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, drug material, and some violence.||I knew it. These comedies will split the point for their funny genres. |
(out of 5 stars)
|"The one night anything is possible"
Meh. 1/5||"Worst. Babysitter. Ever. "
3/5||The Sitter. Best. Tagline. Of. The. Week. Point.|
|Best Part of Trailer||Wanted the trailer to be bad. But it was well-edited, charming, and made me laugh out loud twice.||I expected this trailer to be bad. But it was also kind of humorous. ||I don't know which to pick. I guess New Year's Eve gets the point.|
|Coolest Lead Actor||I don't know! There are so many of them! I'll list half here: Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Ludacris, Robert De Niro, Josh Duhamel, and Zac Efron.||Jonah Hill from Superbad and Moneyball.||The celeb-bomb movie wins a point here, and a point in the next round too. |
|Best Cast||The other half: Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Seth Meyers, Lea Michelle, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Hilary Swank, and Sofia Vergara.||Sam Rockwell (Charlie's Angels)||Like I said- celeb-bomb movies always win these points. |
|Best Street Cred|
For the Production
|Director Garry Marshall has also directed Valentine's Day, The Princess Diaries, Run Away Bride, Pretty Woman, and a slew of TV shows.||Director David Gordon Green has also directed Your Highness and Pineapple Express.||Garry knows how to make a chick flick. Point for him. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, New Year's Eve scores 5 points and The Sitter scores 2 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like R-rated comedies, feel free to watch The Sitter. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, New Year's Eve is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I missed you all last week when no movies were released. Let's not do that again, Hollywood.
Conclusion 3: Other people you may recognize: Cary Elwes (the guy from The Princess Bride), Alyssa Milano (Charmed), Common (Wanted), Til Schweiger (Inglourious Basterds, he's more famous in Germany), Jake T. Austin (Wizards of Waverly Place), Joey McIntyre (from New Kids on the Block), Penny Marshall (Laverne & Shirley), Hector Elizondo (Princess Diaries), Ryan Seacrest (American Idol), and Matthew Broderick (Ferris Bueller) ALSO APPEAR IN NEW YEAR'S EVE!!!! Celeb bomb!