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Laurent fares only slightly better. He has created too complicated a dish and while Tom acknowledges his proficiency as a chef, he still appears likely to be eliminated. At the last moment, Padma chooses to put him on the bubble, making him the sixth chef in Purgatory. Tom is clearly against this idea; we do not like Laurent’s chances to advance. Poor Berenice isn’t shown the same courtesy. Hugh quickly says no and Tom equivocates only slightly. He claims to know where she works and that she is a fine chef, but judging by this dish, she has fallen short as a Top Chef contender. There were seven votes rendered in this heat. Five of them were negative and the other two were along the lines of, “I guess you could maybe do better, so you can have one more chance not to suck.”

The final heat for Group C is the flyweight division. Ashley Villaluz, the afore-mentioned sunny redhead, Lindsay Autry and Beverly Kim compete. The largest of them would be a foot shorter and 135 pounds lighter than the author of this column. Fortunately, it’s not the size of the chef in the fight but the fight in the chef. Lindsay, the tallest of the impossibly petite women, knocks her dish out of the park, becoming the 13th contestant to win a coat. Ashley joins Chaz in the “great personality but didn’t win Top Chef club” as her oxtail dish is not cooked properly. Beverly is quickly sent through with the 14th chef’s coat, leaving two up for grabs for the Purgatory group.

Of course, we are too busy focusing on the idea for a buddy chefs reality series starring Chaz and Ashley. We would season pass the daylights out of that. At a minimum, we hope that Bravo brings some of these chefs back for another chance at some point down the line. The sandbagging that involved giving only 16 out of 29 chefs a place in the competition is reason enough for some of their return. What we are left with is six chefs cooking in an elimination round with only two of them earning coats. Then again, these are better odds than we had expected entering the episode. A 33% chance at being a Top Chef contestant is night and day better than the 9% or 10% we had anticipated.

When the half dozen remaining opportunists return to the kitchen, all of the judges are there. The people in Group B and C see Emeril Lagasse for the first time and freak out anew. The great news is that the final challenge is straightforward. The chefs are allowed to pick their dish using any remaining ingredients and have 45 minutes to complete their meal. Right on cue, one of them complains that this sort of challenge is too open-ended. Everybody’s a critic.

We interrupt the 45 minutes of preparation to absorb this revelation from Janine Falvo. “I’m recently single. We had a wonderful commitment ceremony. About a month later, she told me that she didn’t like my vows and she broke up with me over the phone after nine years. A Post-It note would have been more touching than that. “ Janine Falvo just became the new Chaz, our choice for Top Chef this season. Who in the Blue Hell does that? What a heartless bitch.

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