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So, imagine you’re an adorable thirtysomething couple who lives in an antique house in a quaint country town. Adam Maitland (Alec Baldwin - yes, that’s really him) runs a hardware store and builds painstakingly detailed miniature models as a hobby. He also enjoys plaid shirts, wire rimmed glasses and being kind to all God’s creatures in his spare time. His wife Barbara (the tall and winsome Geena Davis) is tall and winsome, supportive and kind, and spends her days lovingly decorating and refurbishing their cozy turn of the (20th) century home. After years of building their store into a success, the Maitlands decide to take a well earned vacation. And instead of hitting the Caribbean or the French Riviera, their plan is to spend a few weeks puttering around the house and being goofy in love with each other.

Yes, you can hug yourself. The Maitlands are THAT ridiculously romantic. They’re like a like a rustic Ozzie and Harriet, just without the kids - and the gauzy Eisenhower era moral filter. That’s why it’s such a damn shame when they die in a car crash on the way into town for supplies. But it’s not all bad. Despite being dead, the Maitlands discover that they’re still able to inhabit their beloved home as ghosts. They even stumble upon a handy guidebook for the recently deceased. It describes the massive Eisenhower era bureaucracy that governs the afterlife, making it surprisingly hard for the dead to find peace. The couple is even assigned a case worker, who proves unable to help when a new family moves into the house and starts making changes.

Delia Deetz (Catherine O’Hara) is a nuvo riche social climber who moonlights as a sculptor. She and her flamboyant business partner Otho (Glenn Shadix) are looking to transform Chateau Maitland into a post modern fleck stone horror. Desperate to prevent this, Adam and Barbara try in vain to scare them into moving out. They even consider hiring a “professional” they’ve heard rumors about, who claims to be an expert at driving away the living. But the Maitlands are warned off the idea by their case worker. This "Betelgeuse" does not work well with others, they’re told.

Meanwhile, the Deetzes have their own issues. Delia’s hideous redecorating project hits a snag. Charles (Jeffrey Jones) just wanted a place in the country to unwind, but the whirlwind of activity around him proves overwhelming. Lydia the Goth hates everyone, has a photography fetish, fantasizes about death and likes to wear black wedding dresses. Somehow, you just know she’s going to be able to see ghosts. That she can, and when she meets the Maitlands, they become fast friends. But this only reinforces the girl’s fascination with suicide - she’s more interested in joining the Maitlands in oblivion than she is in helping them escape it. Feeling out of options, the Maitlands finally summon help in the form of Betelgeuse, the self styled "bio-exorcist."

Betelgeuse is an outlandish demon who looks like The Joker’s uncle on crack and sounds like a cross between Jeff Foxworthy and Bobcat Goldthwait. His pitch is that he’s like all four Ghostbusters in one, except he exterminates the living rather than the dead. But he sells himself a little hard, and comes off as just a little bit psycho. Predictably, the Maitlands quickly discover that once Betelgeuse is unleashed, controlling him isn’t really an option anymore. He’s a vile, devious creature with a trickster’s knack for playing people off one another to achieve his maniacal goals. In fact, the best part of the film is the last act, where Betelgeuse reveals his true motivations and everyone is forced to choose sides. Will Lydia help the Maitlands? Are the Maitlands willing to sacrifice themselves to protect their new friend? Will Betelgeuse finally get laid after 600 years on the wagon?

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