This Weekend, Watch This

By Curt David

September 30, 2011

I was wondering what it was like to star in that one movie, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, The Godfather, The Stepfather, and Big Daddy all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (Dear Catherine Zeta-Jones, I have seen 25 of your 30 listed movies on IMDb).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of September 30th, the movies in wide release are 50/50, Courageous, Dream House, and What's Your Number?








50/50CourageousDream HouseWhat's Your Number?WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleGambling movie? Chick flick? I don't know!Action movie? Inspirational drama? I don't know!Teenage girls? Horror movie? I don't know!Comedy about guys trying to date? Comedy about girls trying to date? It'll be a comedy.What's Your Number is the title that has a clear genre and the line that has never worked for me.
Best Genre
and Rating
Dramedy: Rated R for language throughout, sexual content, and some drug use.Drama: Rated PG-13 for some violence and drug content.Horror: Rated PG-13 for violence, terror, some sexuality, and brief strong language.Comedy Rated R for sexual content and language.There are sort of four different genres. They can each take 1/4th of this point.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
"It takes a pair to beat the odds" I think this is clever. It takes a pair of kahunas or a pair of friends to get through a medical prognosis. 4/5"Honor begins at Home" Inspirational 1/5"Once upon a time there were two little girls that lived in a house" This actually is a creepy tagline 3/5"Ally's looking for the best ex of her life" Haha! You know what that's supposed to say... 4/5What's Your Number and 50/50 will split the point for some of the best taglines of 2011.
Best Part of TrailerBrilliant! Hilarious! Heart-warming!Heart-warming. Inspirational goosebumps too.Way creepy. And much better than a typical haunted house trailer.Hilarious! Anna Faris!ny trailer this week would win this round any other week of the year. But put them together, and 50/50 will come out on top.
Coolest Lead ActorJoseph Gordon Levitt from Inception, 10 Things I Hate About You, and 3rd Rock from the Sun. I didn't recognize any. Daniel Craig from Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, and Layer Cake.Anna Faris from the Scary Movies, The House Bunny, and Just Friends.Just Friends and 3rd Rock have special places in my heart. Anna and Joe will split this point. Sorry, Mr. Bond.
Best CastSeth Rogen (Knocked Up), Anna Kendrick (Up in the Air), Bryce Dallas Howard (The Help) and Anjelica Huston (The Addams Family)Still no. (Well, some guys were in Fireproof).Naomi Watts (King Kong), Rachel Weisz (The Mummy)Chris Evans (Captain America) with Zachary Quinto (Star Trek) and Andy Samberg (SNL)50/50 scores 100% of the point. (I've been waiting all column to write something using all numbers.)
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Writer Will Reiser has produced the Ali G show.Director and Actor Alex Kendrick has also directed and acted in Fireproof and Facing the Giants.Director Jim Sheridan has also directed Brothers, In America, and In the Name of the Father.Director Mark Mylod has also directed episodes of Entourage and Ali G Indahouse.Six-time Oscar nominated Jim Sheridan can put a "Best Street Cred" point on his mantle.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, 50/50 scores 3 and 1/4 points, What's Your Number scores 2 and 1/4 points, Dream House scores 1 and 1/4 points, and Courageous scores 1/4 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you liked the movie Fireproof or need encouragement to be a better father, feel free to go watch Courageous. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, 50/50 is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Well, 50/50 is the best not counting The Lion King 3D (And while some members of Box Office Prophets seem less than enthused that Lion King 3D is raking in the dough, I for one am thoroughly happy to support that movie getting more money and viewers.)
Conclusion 3: Happy belated birthday, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas.



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