This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison of the new releases for September 2, 2011

By Curt David

September 2, 2011

He's desperately trying to call in a change for his fantasy football team.  No luck.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, A.I., E.T, and D.O.A all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (Dear Catherine Zeta-Jones, I even saw your movie Blue Juice).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of September 2nd, the movies in wide release are Apollo 18, The Debt, and Shark Night 3D.







Apollo 18 The Debt Shark Night 3D WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleIs this a sequel to Apollo 13? (Hmm, I need to catch up on my American history). This movie has to do with someone owing someone else something. A 3D shark attack movie? Space and Sharks, two good reasons to see a movie based on the title alone. These two will split the point this round.
Best Genre
and Rating
Horror/Mockumentary

Rated PG-13 for disturbing images and language.
Drama/Thriller

Rated R for some violence and language.
Horror/Thriller

Rated PG-13 for violence and terror, disturbing images, sexual references, partial nudity, language, and thematic material.
(How can Shark Night not be rated R?) I haven't seen a mockumentary for awhile... point for Apollo 18.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
"There's a reason we've never gone back to the moon"


3/5
"Every secret comes with a price"

This sounds like a typical drama/thriller tagline

1/5
"Terror runs deep"

Ha! It means terror is deep inside of you AND underneath the water!

3/5
All right, the space tagline and the shark tagline will split the point for creativity.
Best Part of TrailerSortof like Paranormal Activity, but on the moon! OOOH! Suspenseful look into three spies when they were young and when they were old...trailer is better than this description! Shark Attack movie with a twist, more clever than I thought. It was a good week for trailers, but The Debt's trailer was a league above the other two.
Coolest Lead ActorNo actors are listed...probably because it's suppose to be real footage. Helen Mirren from The Queen, RED, and Calendar Girls. Katharine McPhee is in this? She almost won American Idol. Helen Mirren is the definition of cool, hence her point in this round.
Best CastNo actors are listed...probably because it's suppose to be real footage. Tom Wilkinson (Michael Clayton), Sam Worthington (Avatar), and Jessica Chastain (The Help) A lot of up and coming actors who aren't famous yet. I'm a fan of Sam, but I really like how Apollo 18 is being advertised as truth...point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego has directed several foreign films. Director John Madden has also directed Shakespeare in Love. Director David R. Ellis has also directed Snakes on a Plane and The Final Destination. Academy Award nominated Mr. Madden will win the award this round.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Debt scores 3 points and Apollo 18 scores 3 points, while Shark Night 3D scores 1 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you saw Piranha 3D, feel free to watch Shark Night 3D. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: Two movies tied! Watch either one, but since The Debt never had to split a point this week, The Debt will be the official movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I learned a lot this week. 1. Apollo 17 was the last manned mission to the moon from the American Apollo Space Program. 2. A league is a unit of measurement of 3 miles or 3 nautical miles. 3. There is a sequel to Into the Blue and two sequels of The Butterfly Effect on DVD! (I looked at the resumes of the Shark Night actors).
Conclusion 3: Avatar was an amazing movie and should have won Best Picture...don't judge me.




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