This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison of the new releases for June 24, 2011

By Curt David

June 23, 2011

Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and Dodge

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, The Beach, Dune, and Sahara all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My crush Hermione Granger returns to the screen in three weeks!!!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of June 24th, the movies in wide release are Bad Teacher and Cars 2.






Bad Teacher Cars 2 WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleHaha, this title already makes me smile. I don't know what the movie is about, but I've definitely have had comically bad teachers in my life. The sequel to the Pixar film Cars. Bad Teacher just got schooled in Round 1. Point for most familiar title goes to Cars 2.
Best Genre
and Rating		Comedy Rated R for sexual content, nudity, language, and some drug use. Animation

Rated G- suitable for all audiences. 		Usually I disapprove of movies with inappropriate content, but I already think it's hilarious that a movie about a teacher has all that smut...point for the teacher.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"She doesn't give an "F""

YES! I was waiting all of 2011 for a perfectly punny tagline!....My week is made!

6/5 		"N/A"

Doesn't matter it doesn't have a tagline, it didn't stand a chance anyway.

0/5 		Get it? Teachers give grades like F's, but this teacher doesn't care, or give a "F." HAHAHAHA! Bad Teacher scores an "A" this round.
Best Part of TrailerIt was funny. And it had Phyllis from The Office in it! I laughed at everything the Tow Truck car said. Usually I don't laugh at trailers, so both of these movies will earn some apples.
Coolest Lead ActorCameron Diaz from There's Something About Mary, Shrek, and Charlie's Angels. Owen Wilson from Wedding Crashers and the Meet the Parents trilogy. I'd like to be Cameron Diaz' teacher's pet. Point.
Best CastJason Segel (How I Met Your Mother), Justin Timberlake (The Social Network), and Phyllis Smith (The Office). The voices of Larry the Cable Guy, Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Eddie Izzard, Tony Shalhoub, Vanessa Redgrave, and Bonnie Hunt. Extra credit for Phyllis Smith who gives Bad Teacher the point for this round.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Jake Kasdan has also directed Walk Hard and Orange County. Directed by John Lasseter (director of Cars, Toy Story 1 and 2, A Bug's Life) and Brad Lewis. John Lasseter teaches the class on Street Cred. Point.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Bad Teachers scores 4 and 1/2 points and Cars 2 scores 2 and 1/2 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you liked any of the 11 excellent Pixar movies, feel free to watch Cars 2. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, the best movie to watch this weekend is Bad Teacher.
Conclusion 2: Dear Pixar lovers, please don't write into Boxofficeprophets.com and complain about this week's column. Sometimes you just have to choose Cameron Diaz over a quality movie.
Conclusion 3: "She doesn't give an F" ...whahahahahahah!




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