This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison of the new releases for June 17, 2011

By Curt David

June 17, 2011

I know, sweet baby.  It takes superhero fortitude to face up to that 27% Fresh at RT

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, Saw, Blade, and Hook all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My crush Hermione Granger returns to the screen in four weeks!!!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of June 17th, the movies in wide release are Green Lantern and Mr. Popper's Penguins.







Green Lantern Mr. Popper's Penguins WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleBased on a comic book superhero...I honestly don't know the difference between him and the Green Hornet. Based on a children's book...I honestly have never heard of it. I'm guessing the Green Lantern is more popular than Mr. Popper, so he'll win this round.
Best Genre
and Rating
Action/ Sci-Fi

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action.
Comedy

Rated PG for mild rude humor and some language.
Comedy or Action - either one works for me. The movies will split the point.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
"One of us...becomes one of them"

A human being joins a green superhero team...sure the movie will be cooler than that...

2/5
"N/A"

Idiots- this point was the Penguins' for the taking if they wrote anything down...

0/5
"In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall, escape my sight, in our darkest hour, there will be light"....the other tagline of Green Lantern...some fanboy is getting pretty excited.
Best Part of TrailerDid a good job of explaining the backstory- could be good? The trailer definitely advertised a groin shot and a dancing animal scene...but on a brighter note it has Jim Carrey... Neither trailer really did it for me...both movies will split the point again.
Coolest Lead ActorRyan Reynolds from The Proposal, Wolverine, and Definitely Maybe. Jim Carrey from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Truman Show, and Ace Ventura. Ryan Reynolds might be going places, but for now Jim Carrey is still the cooler actor. Point.
Best CastBlake Lively (Gossip Girl) Angela Lansbury (Murder She Wrote) The babes will split the point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Martin Campbell has also directed Casino Royale, The Mask of Zorro, and Golden Eye. Director Mark Waters has also directed Freaky Friday, Mean Girls, and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. Martin Campbell got street cred from the world with Casino Royale, but I've liked him since Mask of Zorro.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Green Lantern scores 4 and 1/2 points and Mr. Popper's Penguins scores 2 and 1/2 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like good movies, feel free to watch Super 8. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, the best movie to watch this weekend is Green Lantern.
Conclusion 2: I saw Super 8 on opening night and it didn't disappoint. Check it out.
Conclusion 3: In 1998, America and myself started our crush on Catherine Zeta-Jones.




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