This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison of the new releases for June 3, 2011

By Curt David

June 3, 2011

He's trying to estimate the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, Inside Man, Solitary Man, A Single Man, I Love You Man, and The Ladies Man - all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My crush Hermione Granger returns to the screen in six weeks!!!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of June 3rd, the wide releases are X-Men: First Class and...well, that's the only wide release. That's for the best, because everyone should go and watch (my personal favorite superheroes) X-Men this weekend. To highlight this point, I'll compare watching X-Men with sitting alone at your house this weekend.








X-Men: First Class Spending the evening home alone WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleLooks like the prequel to the X-Men trilogy. Reminds me of knitting. Or surfing the web. Or watching movies that everyone else has already seen. Wouldn't you rather be alone in the movie theater finding out how Professor X and Magneto became friends and then enemies?!?! Point for the movie.
Best Genre
and Rating
Superhero Action:

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence, some sexual content including brief partial nudity and language.
No genre:

Rated PG for lameness.
Call up some friends and go see X-Men: First Class! Another point.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
"Before he was Professor X, he was Charles. Before he was Magneto, he was Erik."

Am I the only one that is frickin' excited about this movie? Its an X-Men origin story!!!

6/5
"Before this Friday, you didn't have any plans. Before this Friday, X-Men: First Class wasn't in theaters."

Perfect tagline, if I say so myself.

5/5
Don't have a group of friends you go see the movies with? Call/text/facebook some acquaintances to go see this movie! Another point.
Best Part of TrailerProfessor X can walk and has hair! He was friends with Magneto! What happened?? Popcorn that doesn't cost 20 dollars. Actually, other than for X-Men die hard fans, the trailer lacked action. Staying home and making your own popcorn will win its first point.
Coolest Lead ActorJames McAvoy from Atonement, Wanted, and the faun from The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. You. Point for James McAvoy. No offense, but you really didn't stand much of a chance this round.
Best CastJennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone), Oliver Platt (Bulworth), Kevin Bacon (Footloose), and January Jones (Mad Men). N/A Not the biggest cast for a blockbuster, but Jennifer Lawrence is going places. Another point for the movie.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Matthew Vaughn has also directed Kick-Ass, Stardust, and Layer Cake. You? Aww, I'm sorry, but you don't have any street cred either. Point for Matthew Vaughn.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, going out of your house to see X-Men: First Class scores 6 points and staying home and making cheap popcorn scores 1 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you saw the first Hangover or Kung Fu Panda, feel free to watch those sequels in the theaters this weekend. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, X-Men: First Class is the guaranteed best new movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: If you are going to stay home this weekend, you should go and rent Wanted
Conclusion 3: Six degrees of Kevin Bacon starts now: James McAvoy was in Wanted with Angelina Jolie. Jolie was in Mr. & Mrs. Smith with Brad Pitt. Pitt was in Ocean's 11 with Matt Damon. Damon was in Saving Private Ryan with Tom Hanks. And Hanks was in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon!




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