This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison of the new releases for February 25, 2011

By Curt David

February 25, 2011

What did I *just* say????

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, The Lion in Winter, Lionheart, Secondhand Lions, Lions for Lambs, and The Lion King all have different plots). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (I have a crush on the city of Rio de Janeiro... seven weeks until the movie Rio comes to theaters!!!!!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of February 25th, the movies in wide release are Drive Angry (in 3D) and Hall Pass.







Drive Angry (in 3D) Hall Pass Winner
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleAwesome title - I don't care if this movie has car explosions or just an old lady with road rage, I think I want to see it. Reminds me of the days of middle school. As of now, I don't think I want to see a children's movie. Neither title is too clear, but Drive Angry will win the point for a title that should definitely be in 3D.
Best Genre
and Rating
Action

Rated R for strong brutal violence throughout, grisly images, some graphic sexual content, nudity, and pervasive language.
Comedy

Rated R for crude sexual humor throughout, language, some graphic nudity, and drug use.
Now I know that Hall Pass is definitely not a children's movie. Both movies will split the point for corrupting minors that happen to see them.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
"All hell breaks loose."

The main character escapes from hell, but this would have been an exciting tagline regardless.

3/5 stars
"One week, no rules."

That probably explains the graphic nudity and drug use.

1/5
Drive Angry pulls ahead in this round and wins the point.
Best Part of TrailerIt's an action packed supernatural car movie with Nicolas Cage. You're going to love it or hate it. A cast of very funny people (but I didn't laugh that much in the trailer). Shoot, Drive Angry takes off with another point.
Coolest Lead ActorNicolas Cage from Con Air, Face/Off, National Treasure, and The Rock. Owen Wilson from Marley & Me, Wedding Crashers, Meet the Parents, and Zoolander. Despite Nic probably having more bad movies than Owen, he also has a ton of classics. Point for Cage.
Best CastBilly Burke from the Twilight movies. Jason Sudeikis (SNL), Jenna Fisher (The Office), Christina Applegate (Anchorman), Richard Jenkins (The Visitor), and cameos by Joy Behar (The View), Alyssa Milano (Charmed), and Kathy Griffin (Suddenly Susan). By far, Hall Pass has the most amazing cast. Point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Written and Directed by Patrick Lussier, who also directed My Bloody Valentine and Dracula 2000. Written and Directed by the Farrelly brothers, who also wrote and directed Shallow Hal, There's Something About Mary, and Dumb and Dumber. Dumb and Dumber is one of the greatest movies ever. The Farrelly brothers will take this point.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Drive Angry scores 4 and 1/2 points and Hall Pass scores 2 and 1/2 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are under the age of 17, please feel free to watch Gnomeo and Juliet in theaters this weekend. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Drive Angry is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I think Drive Angry is one of the best titles so far of 2011. Stay tuned for the Top 5 movie list of 2011.
Conclusion 3: The Oscars are this weekend. Unfortunately, Drive Angry and Hall Pass won't be eligible until next year's Academy Awards.



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