This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison of the new releases for February 18, 2011

By Curt David

February 18, 2011

F'in Banksy.....

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, I am Sam, I am Legend, and I am Number Four all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (I have a crush on the city of Rio de Janeiro... eight weeks until the movie "Rio" comes to theaters!!!!!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of Feb. 18th, the movies in wide release are Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son, I am Number Four, and Unknown.







Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son. I am Number Four Unknown WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleI feel like there was a Martin Lawrence movie that sounded similar to this awhile back. Oooh, I hope that this is a movie based on Sesame Street and that the subtitle is "and the Letter Q." This title doesn't tell me too much, but maybe it's a science fiction movie or something? Big Momma is the clearest title of the three, so it clearly gets the point.
Best Genre
and Rating
Comedy

Rated PG-13 for some sexual humor and brief violence.
Action

Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and action and some language.
Thriller

Rated PG-13 for some intense sequences of violence and action, and brief sexual content.
I think out of those three genres, my favorite genre, and always a safe bet, is the thriller. Point for Unknown.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
"Momma's got back up"

So Big Momma is back. Tagline is alright.

1/5 stars
N/A

Awww man, lack of tagline is always the most disappointing thing about this job.

0/5
"Take back your life"

Whoa shoot. I don't want to get in the way of this person when they take back their life.

2/5
Along with the best tagline, Unknown also had the best looking poster of the bunch. Point again.
Best Part of TrailerN/A (Even though I watched the trailer) The girl from Glee is in it! The original plot seems cool - what if you woke up and your life was replaced? Hmm, now that I remember it, Sandra Bullock's The Net also had that plot....but Unknown still wins the point for best trailer.
Coolest Lead ActorMartin Lawrence from Big Momma's House and Bad Boys. Alex Pettyfer from the upcoming movie Beastly. Liam Neeson from Schindler's List, Taken, new Star Wars, Batman Begins, Love Actually, and The Haunting (with Catherine Zeta-Jones!) Liam Neeson wins this round hands down, especially since he showed his thriller chops in Taken.
Best CastBrandon T. Jackson (Percy Jackson), Jessica Lucas (Cloverfield), Sherri Shepherd (The View), and Ken Jeong (Hangover). Timothy Olyphant (Live Free or Die Hard) and Dianna Agron (Glee!). Diane Kruger (National Treasure), January Jones (Mad Men), and Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon). While I do appreciate Dianna Agron, the best cast point has to go to Unknown.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director John Whitesell has also directed Big Momma's House 2 and a slew of TV shows. Director D.J. Caruso has also directed Eagle Eye, Disturbia, and Taking Lives. Director Jaume Collet-Serra has also directed Orphan and House of Wax. D.J. Caruso has the most impressive big-screen directing resume. He'll take home the point for Best Street Cred.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Unknown scores 5 points, I am Number Four scores 1 point, and Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son scores 1 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you have seen Big Momma's House 2, please feel free to finish the trilogy this weekend. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Unknown is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Timothy Olyphant has officially started playing "Father" roles.
Conclusion 3: I'm glad I was able to type "Sandra Bullock" in the column this week. She can do no wrong in my book.




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