This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for January 14, 2011
By Curt David
January 14, 2011
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, The Italian Job, From Russia with Love, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and Hotel Rwanda all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My Top 5 crushes when I was 16 years old: #4: Lucy Liu from Charlie's Angels).
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of January 14th, the movies in wide release are The Dilemma and The Green Hornet.
| The Dilemma | The Green Hornet | WINNER
(1 point per category)
|
| Clearest Title | Is this a romantic comedy dilemma, or a thriller dilemma, or a western dilemma - it really could be any type of dilemma. | I've heard of a comic book superhero with a similar name, but don't know too much about him. | No dilemma on who to pick, The Green Hornet wins a point for clearest title. |
Best Genre
and Rating | Comedy
Rated PG-13 for mature thematic elements including sexual content.
| Superhero/Action
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violent action, sensuality, language, and drug content.
| The unique superhero genre wins this point. Well, sort of unique. Teenagers these days probably take the genre for granted, but back in my day... |
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars) | "Two best friends. Nothing could come between them... or could it?"
This tagline does absolutely nothing for me. And what does the word "it" refer to?
1/5 stars
| "n/a"
Literally any words you could have picked would have been better than the other tagline this week, and you went with no words?
0/5
| What about "The buzz in town is that the Green Hornet is going to sting some butt"? Okay, I still don't really know anything about the hornet, but no matter, The Dilemma wins this point. |
| Best Part of Trailer | Good actors, but I didn't laugh at all and the plot is uncomfortable. | Looks fun. Realistic superhero movie. And Cameron Diaz. | Based on the trailer, I would see the Green Hornet in the theaters (point) and maybe The Dilemma on Redbox. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Vince Vaughn from Wedding Crashers, The Break-Up, and Old School. | Seth Rogen from Superbad, Knocked Up, and The Pineapple Express. | Nothing against Vince Vaughn, but I'd rather see a Seth Rogen movie. |
| Best Cast | Kevin James (Paul Blart), Jennifer Connelly (He's Just Not That Into You), Winona Ryder (Mr. Deeds), Channing Tatum (G.I. Joe), and Queen Latifah (Bringing down the House). | Jay Chou (popular pop singer in Taiwan), Cameron Diaz (There's Something About Mary), and Christoph Waltz (Inglorious Basterds). | The Dilemma has the most impressive cast so far this year (out of two weeks) and wins this point. |
Best Street Cred
For the Production | Director Ron Howard has also directed The Da Vinci Code, A Beautiful Mind, Apollo 13, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and Splash. | Director Michel Gondry has also directed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. | Ron Howard, from The Any Griffith Show and Happy Days fame, definitely wins this point for best street cred. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Green Hornet scores 4 points and The Dilemma scores 3 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you watched Couples Retreat, you probably want to watch The Dilemma. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, The Green Hornet is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: My favorite superhero movies are X-Men and X-Men 2. Don't freak out Dark Knight fans, but it was more magical for me to see my childhood X-Men come to the big screen.
Conclusion 3: Do you want a really good movie to watch this weekend, especially a good comedy? Then watch any of the movies beside The Dilemma actors names in the Best Cast category.
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