Things I Learned From Movie X: The Book of Eli

By Edwin Davies

December 2, 2010

I wonder why he wears sunglasses all the time.

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In that context, it's probably good that Eli is blind (that spoiler I warned you about? That was it right there) because he seems like the kind of guy who would really have been into Waits' music before planes started falling out of the sky, and if he could see Waits he would probably have derailed the whole narrative of the film by freaking out about how he got to meet Tom Waits and talking to him for ages about how much he likes Blue Valentine. Also, there's every chance that he could be one of those douchebags who complains that Waits stopped making good music when he started using Dousengonis on his albums. I hate those guys.

I miss crazy Gary Oldman

Back in the dark and ancient time known as The 1990s, if you needed someone to crazy a film up, you called Gary Oldman. Need a white drug dealer with dreadlocks who thinks he's Rastafarian and has an almost incomprehensible accent? Gary Oldman. Drug-addled detective out to kill a young Padme (Haha, reminded you that the prequels exist!)? Gary Oldman. Possibly Texan space CEO with a metal plate and a Gerard Way haircut? Oldman that shit right up.

Nowadays, though, Gary Oldman is respectable. Thanks to his stoic turn as Jim Gordon in Christopher Nolan's Batman films, it's hard to think of Gary Oldman as anything other than a salt of the Earth guy trying to make sense of a world spiralling into oblivion. Why, nowadays if I told you that Gary Oldman was going to play Matthew McConaughey's midget brother, your first response would be, "That's insane! And who are you?" Whereas as recently as 2003, when he played Matthew McConaughey's midget brother in the hilariously awful Tiptoes, the common response would be, "That's insane! But that is the sort of thing that Gary Oldman would do. Also, who are you?"

So it was great getting to see Oldman let loose as Carnegie, the bibliophilic maniac after Eli and his precious cargo. It wasn't quite the same, though, but rather a brief wallow in nostalgia. Watching Gary Oldman return to being unhinged is like seeing The Smashing Pumpkins live after they reformed; the songs are the same, but the passion's gone. But even played without passion those songs are still pretty kick-ass.




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The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth

"Knowledge is power," or so Sir Francis Bacon and G.I. Joe would have us believe, but rarely has that idea been conveyed in as clear and obvious terms as it is in The Book of Eli. Both the hero and the villain are special because they can read, and are therefore able to control the ideas that people are exposed to. Eli believes that everyone should have access to the teachings contained in his book (though the film is a little vague on how not showing the book to anyone, then getting Malcolm MacDowell to make a copy of it which he proceeds to leave on a shelf in Alcatraz, will accomplish this noble aim) whilst the other wants to manipulate the information contained in the book so as to control the way people think and act. (In case you're all wondering, the book in question is a copy of Martha Stewart's Quick Cook. Sorry, The Bible. I always get those mixed up since Martha Stewart's Quick Cook is my Bible.) What connects these two men who have such wholly different ambitions?

They are both nerds.

Think about it; they both like books, they both enjoy bossing people around who are dumber than they are, and they are both having much too good a time considering their situation. Nerds love to talk about what they would do in an apocalyptic situation, and both Eli and Carnegie seem like a couple of guys who are finally getting the chance to act out all their wildest LAARPing fantasies. Plus, did you see the martial arts moves that Eli used to take out those guys at the start? He's clearly the sort of person who (back when he could see) used to watch a ton of anime, practiced all the moves in his bedroom, then spent hours discussing it on 4chan.


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