The Horrors of Politics

By Tom Houseman

October 31, 2010

We think he lies.

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5. Milk

What It’s About: Sean Penn stars as Harvey Milk in Gus Van Sant’s biopic of California’s first openly gay elected official. Milk broke barriers, building grassroots support to fight discrimination, in particular fighting an initiative to prohibit homosexuals from jobs at public schools. Milk attempted to reach across the aisle, including trying to compromise with extreme conservative and homophobe Dan White (Josh Brolin). Although Milk made many important strides, his life was cut unfortunately short when he was shot and killed by White.

Why It’s Scarily Accurate: Because we live in a country where fear drives us to do crazy things, and where important members of the media, as well as respected politicians, are egging on their followers to take drastic measures. It is disgusting how manipulative people like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh are, and how they cheer on the actions of people who take the law into their own hands. When events like the murder of Dr. George Tiller raise applause from extremists, and when politicians like Sharon Angle tell their followers that “second amendment remedies” are the way to fix the country, you realize that men like Dan White are less and less the exception.




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6. Swing Vote

What It’s About: Kevin Costner deciding who gets to be the next president of the United States. No seriously, Costner plays an alcoholic loser whose politically active daughter convinces him to vote. A problem with the electronic machine keeps his vote from going through (or possibly redirects it to Robin Williams) and when the electoral college vote counting all comes down to New Mexico, it turns out that the entire state is tied except for Costner’s vote. It is at this point that I shoot myself in the face.

Why It’s Scarily Inaccurate: Imagine if everyone who voted in Florida in 2000, but whose vote wasn’t counted because of a hanging chad, had to revote. It would take forever and be wildly expensive, which is why if your vote isn’t counted the first time, it just gets ignored. If a vote in one state was that close, there would be endless recounting and bickering, and, hopefully, Kevin Costner would have nothing to do with the outcome. I’m pretty sure he’s not even allowed to vote.

Before you watch these movies, do me one favor: go out and vote. Seriously, it’s important. There are some crazy people out there, and the only way to keep them from having control of our lives, jobs and bodies is to vote. It’s really easy, takes about ten minutes, and is scientifically proven to make you 12% more attractive to members of the opposite sex, unless you’re gay, in which case it has the effect on members of the same sex. I may have made that last part up, but voting really is one of the most important ways, and by far the easiest one, to make our country a better place.


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