This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison of the new releases for September 17, 2010

By Curt David

September 17, 2010

Having been smoked in Thumb Wars, Affleck hopes he can at least be competitive in the Staring Contes

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Miracle on 34th Street, Step Up 2 The Streets, and Wall Street all have different genres ). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My Top 5 Reasons "The Rebound" should be released in the USA....#2: It's actually a romantic comedy that is actually funny).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of September 17th, the movies in wide release are Alpha and Omega, Devil, Easy A, The Town.


Alpha and Omega Devil Easy A The Town WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThis title is tricky. 75% it's a movie about two people with clashing personalities. 25% it's another type of movie. 99% that this is a horror movie. 50% chance this movie is about high school or college. 50% chance it is not. What? This movie could be about anything depending on what's in the stupid town. When you name your movie Devil, people know what to expect. Point for bluntness.
Best Genre
and Rating
Animation

Rated PG for rude humor and some mild action.
Mystery/Thriller

Rated PG-13 for violence and disturbing images, thematic material, and some language including sexual references.
Rom/Com

Rated PG-13 for mature thematic elements, involving teen sexuality, language, and some drug material.
Crime Thriller

Rated R for strong violence, pervasive language, some sexuality, and drug use.
…or a 1% chance it's a spooky mystery/thriller...all four movies split the point for diverse genres.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)
"A Pawsome 3D Adventure"

HAHAHA! They added a "P" onto awesome, because the movie is about dogs - and dogs have paws!

5/5 stars
"Bad things happen for a reason"

I don't know about clever, but the tagline is effective for a movie called "Devil"

4/5stars
"Let's not and say we did"

I don't get it. Maybe the movie will explain more.

2/5 stars
"Welcome to the bank robbery capital of America"

What type of town is this??

3/5 stars
I am in Pawe of that tagline. Can we Paw-lease give it the point for this round? Yes. Paw-fect.
Best Part of TrailerFunny and cute, especially the golfing geese. Shoot- now that's seriously a good trailer- which one of the five people stuck on the elevator is the devil? My favorite plot of the bunch- funny, and now the tagline makes sense. That is one good looking movie. The Departed meets Gone Baby Gone. This was my favorite week of watching trailers ever. All the movies have to split the point again.
Coolest Lead ActorJustin Long, from He's Just Not That Into You, is the voice of the main wolf. Chris Messina, from Julie and Julia. Emma Stone from Zombieland and Superbad. Ben Affleck from Daredevil, Good Will Hunting, and Armageddon. I could see myself becoming a fan of Emma Stone. For now, Ben has the best resume and the point.
Best Cast MemberOther voices include Hayden Panettiere (Heroes), Dennis Hopper (Speed), and Danny Glover (Lethal Weapon). Geoffrey Arend (500 Days of Summer) and Bojana Novakovic (Edge of Darkness) Penn Badgley (Gossip Girl), Amanda Bynes (All That), Thomas Haden Church (Spider-Man 3), Patricia Clarkson, Stanley Tucci, and Lisa Kudrow. Jon Hamm (Mad Men) and Blake Lively (Gossip Girl). The point for the most impressive cast, which isn't animated, goes to Easy A.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Ben Gluck has worked on 9 and Home on the Range and Director Anthony Bell has worked on The Simpsons and Rugrats. Writer and Producer M. Night Shyamalan has also written and produced Signs and Unbreakable. Director Will Gluck also directed Fired Up! Director Ben Affleck has also directed Gone Baby Gone and married Jennifer Garner. M. Night Shyamalan (I don't care what you say, he's talented) and Ben Affleck (have you seen Gone Baby Gone?!) split the point for Best Street Cred.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Town scores 2 points, Devil scores 2 points, Easy A scores 1 1/2 points, and Alpha and Omega scores 1 1/2 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like a certain genre, just go see that movie. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Town and Devil are the movies to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: However, I want to go watch Easy A.
Conclusion 3: Seriously, you should check out the trailers this week.
Conclusion 4: I wonder if Ben Gluck and Will Gluck are related?



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