Big Brother 12, Week 9

By Eric Hughes

September 13, 2010

She doesn't understand the concept of running with the bulls

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Big Brother dug into its Christian roots when the week opened on a Head of Household competition centered around Christmas.

For the game, players had to “decorate” Christmas trees by emptying 18 colored balls and one gold star into small reservoirs located along the edge of the tree. The catch was that players stood on one side of a chain-linked fence; the tree the other. So, ornaments and such had to be carefully moved from the ground to the tree.

With holes in the fence only an inch (at best) thick, the contest must’ve taken awhile. Oh, the glorious power of editing!

Hayden would win the competition by a good margin. Britney, the only remaining houseguest without a penis, felt threatened. She said: “I have to be like the outsider weird person who just like naps all day on their own. I don’t want to be like that… It’s frustrating, and it’s sad.”

As HoH, Hayden showed off his room to Lane, Britney and Enzo. And all Lane really had to say about it was that Hayden should refrain from using the foo foo shampoo in his gift basket from home. Even when talking about a heterosexual, Lane still comes across as homophobic.

The final four broke from regular game play to participate in a luxury competition worth 10 grand. All each of ‘em had to do was hide a giant coin somewhere in the house. Whoever hid their coin best – i.e. it was the last to be found – won the money.

Lane: “A chance to win 10 grand? You know how many cases of beer I can buy with that? Plus Muscle Milk? Oh my gosh, this is heaven!”

With the coins in their places, the houseguests got to work. The game very well could’ve been called Destroy the Big Brother House as Best You Can Game. After only a couple minutes, that house was a wreck. Trash emptied in the kitchen and backyard. Couch cushions in disarray. Plant pots broken.

At one point, I think Enzo asked who’d be in charge of cleaning the mess. My guess is some gopher PAs behind the scenes.

Like the Christmas tree competish, the great coin chase took a little time. Said Lane: “It’s like waiting for the ending of one of the Harry Potter movies. It’s forever.”




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Britney would win the game. Her hiding place? Inside the kitchen trash can.

Too bad for her, though. Moments after winning $10,000, Hayden would nominate her for eviction alongside her house boyfriend, Lane.

On Wednesday’s show, Hayden earned the power to keep his nominations as is by winning the week’s Power of Veto competition.

The memory puzzle, which was a Big Brother-inspired movie poster game, had Lane completely confused. Said the big man: “I don’t even remember who I put up on the block last week. And I was HoH!”

The win, actually, put Lane in a bad place. From the beginning, Hayden had wanted the Brigade (Hayden plus Lane and Enzo) to make it into the final three. Lane, however, wanted Britney to compete with him on finale night. Pledging allegiance to Britney would make Hayden suspicious of Lane’s true colors.

At this point in the game – and already on the block – it’d probably be best on Lane’s end to remain on good terms with the HoH.

To remedy the problem, Lane and Enzo went ahead and told Britney about their alliance. Of course, Britney wasn’t surprised that they boys were friendly with one another. She just never could have guessed that they’d been influencing votes and pretty much controlling the house since day two.

Britney got upset. Like “I came all this way for no reason” upset. Hayden told her that they last thing he wanted to do was make her sad or make her cry. And yet, that’s exactly what Britney did.

Playing the Southern belle card like it was her job since she entered the house, Britney’s tantrum was a bit difficult to take. She said that she felt completely played and that she’d be “sick to vote for any of them.”

Well anyway, by the time the live vote came, Britney had gotten over the fact that the boys in the house had played Big Brother better than she did. With Enzo having soul power to evict, he voted Britney out, leaving just him, Lane and Hayden in the game.

On Thursday’s show, Lane, Enzo and Hayden swung from giant swings that had them crashing into walls. Said Lane: “This is like a Texas bar fight!” The swings swung back and forth into cushioned walls, and traveled through rain and other weather to get to the other side.

Hayden, once again, won, and earned a spot in the final competition of the summer.

Before that happened, Enzo bowed out fairly early and “celebrated” his loss with a homemade meal of pasta and pizza. He brought everything outside, actually, which disturbed Lane, since at the time he was hanging from a rain-soaked swing and getting tossed into walls.

Said Lane: “Enzo, if I could move my lower half right now, I’d crawl to you and slap you.”

At the Jury House, Ragan, who was evicted last week, arrived inside and immediately got into an argument with Rachel. They’re like children, and I don’t know how entertaining their fights are anymore since it seems to be about the same thing week after week. Hopefully that’s the end of it because nothing new seems to be brought into discussion.

Lane and Enzo battled in a second competition to determine who would face Hayden on finale night.

The men had to match houseguest names to morphed photos of Frankenstein heads made from two Big Brother contestant headshots. (Think Conan’s old “If they mated” segment). Lane, who would go on to defeat Enzo, would later let everyone know that he “felt sweaty, numb and couldn’t walk.”


     


 
 

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