This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for August 13, 2010
By Curt David
August 13, 2010
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Little Miss Sunshine all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My Top 10: Actresses I have crushed on... #1: Catherine Zeta-Jones from every movie she's been in!).
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of August 13th, the movies in wide release are Eat Pray Love, The Expendables, and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
| Eat Pray Love | The Expendables | Scott Pilgrim vs. The World | WINNER
(1 point per category)
|
| Clearest Title | I like to do all three of these things. Probably a movie for women. | Dictionary.com says they are "capable of being sacrificed in order to accomplish a military objective." Probably a movie for men. | I can't make a connection with this title. | A movie called Eat, Pray, Love will most likely be about eating, praying, and loving....point for clearest title. |
Best Genre
and Rating | Drama
Rated PG-13 for brief strong language, some sexual references, and male rear nudity.
| Action
Rated R for strong action and bloody violence throughout, and some language.
| Comedy/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for stylized violence, sexual content, language and drug references.
| I don't usually type Comedy/Adventure as a genre. Therefore, Scott Pilgrim will win this round. |
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars) | "Let Yourself Go This August"
I appreciate taglines that incorporate the movie's release date.
2/5 stars
| "Choose Your Weapon"
A movie has to be awesome with this tagline!
2/5 stars
| "An epic of epic epicness"
HAHAHA! A movie has to be super awesome with this tagline!
4/5 stars
| The winner of winning winningness goes to Scott Pilgrim!
|
| Best Part of Trailer | Julia Roberts is a captivating actress. Looks inspiring. Best pick-up line ever at end of trailer. | Action plus Stallone, Willis, and Shwarsenogger in the same room! | Could be the best, trippiest movie ever, or a tough movie to sit through... | I secretly like Scott's trailer the most. I wish I could spell Schwarzanagor. Julia won't disappoint her fans. All three movies split the point. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman, My Best Friend's Wedding, and Erin Brockovich. | Sylvester Stallone from Rocky 1-4, Rambo, and Cliffhanger. | Michael Cera from Arrested Development. Superbad, Juno, and Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. | I like Stallone and Cera as much as the next guy, and won't watch Eat Pray Love...but she is Julia Roberts. Point. |
| Best Cast Member | Also starring Billy Crudup, Viola Davis, James Franco, and Javier Bardem. | Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Steve Austin, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Scshwaenenenger. | Kieran Culkin, Brandon Routh, Jason Schwartzman, and Bill Hader. | Oh man oh man. Every one of those guys could kill a small army, and they are all in the same movie. I wish I could give The Expendables more than just one point for this round! |
Best Street Cred
For the Production | Director and writer Ryan Murphy has also written and directed episodes of Nip/Tuck and Glee. | Director, writer, and actor Sylvester Stallone has also written, directed, and acted in the Rockies and Rambo. | Director and writer Edgar Wright has also written and directed Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. | I sortof regret giving Julia a point over Stallone a few rounds ago. Thankfully, Sylvester Stallone is an awesome director and writer as well. Point. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Eat Pray Love scores 2 1/3 points, The Expendables scores 2 1/3 points, and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World scores 2 1/3 points.
Crap. Three-way tie. A "This weekend, watch this" first. I have failed you. I will clarify the results in my conclusions.
Conclusion 1: If you are a female, or want to impress a female, see Eat Pray Love this weekend.
Conclusion 2: If you are a male, and like watching bloody violence, see The Expendables this weekend (starring Arnold Schwarkdna3ldl;kfger)
Conclusion 3: If you like Michael Cera, or trippy movies, or the tagline "An epic of epic epicness," go see Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
Conclusion 4: Scott Pilgrim is growing on me more and more. It's a movie filled with action and fighting (like campy '60s Batman fighting) AND I think it's going to be a sweet movie about how far a boy will go to win a young girl's heart. It's like Eat Pray Love and The Expendables had a baby.
Conclusion 5: I've changed my mind. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World wins this column and is the movie to watch this weekend!
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