This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for July 2, 2010
By Curt David
July 2, 2010
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, National Treasure, Treasure Island, Muppet Treasure Island, and Treasure Planet all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My Top 10: Actresses I have crushed on... #7: Emmy Rossum from The Phantom of the Opera).
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of July 2nd, the movies in wide release are The Last Airbender and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.
| The Last Airbender | The Twilight Saga: Eclipse | WINNER
(1 point per category)
|
| Clearest Title | This title seems clear, the movie will be a biopic about the last airbender. What's an airbender? | This title seems clear, the movie will be another sequel about a girl, a vampire, and a werewolf. | My knee always acts up right before a really big storm, or before a Twilight movie is released. Title is clear. Twilight gets the point. |
Best Genre
and Rating | Fantasy/Adventure
Rated PG for sequences of fantasy action violence.
| Fantasy/Romance/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence, and some sexuality.
| These fantasy movies will split the point. |
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars) | "Four nations, one destiny"
This makes the movie sound epic and important. Not bad, but not super clever.
1/5 stars
| "It all begins...with a choice"
This makes the movie sound epic and important. Not bad, but not super clever.
1/5 stars
| Now I don't know what the choice is going to be that begins it all, but I'm sure a ton of girls do. Either way, each movie splits the point for the tagline.
|
| Best Part of Trailer | The new trailer looks good, like Captain Planet on crack cocaine. | The trailer was 99% action with fighting werewolves. (If I didn't know this was based on a novel for teenage girls, I'd say it looked good). | Both trailers exceeded my expectations. The movies will split the point. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | DEV PATEL IS IN THIS MOVIE?!?! People from the movie Slumdog Millionaire automatically win rounds like this one. | Doesn't even matter. It'd either be some vampire with messy hair or some werewolf with a sixpack. | Dear Mr. Patel,
Slumdog Millionaire is my favorite movie of all-time.
Thanks for being in my column,
Curt David
|
| Best Cast Member | Jackson Rathbone plays Sokka, a teenage Water tribe warrior. | Jackson Rathbone plays Jasper Hale, adoptive vampire brother of Edward. | I wonder which movie J-Rath is going to see this weekend. Doesn't matter, he'll split the point for this round (yet, somehow, he'll still be getting the entire point). |
Best Street Cred
For the Production | Writer, Producer, and Director M. Night Shyamalan has also written, produced, and directed The Happening, Signs, Unbreakable, and The Sixth Sense. | Novelist Stephenie Meyer has written all the novels these movies are based on. | M. Night Shyamalan is a genius. Point for him. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Last Airbender scores 4 points and Twilight Saga: Eclipse scores 3 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are looking for a comedy, watch one of last week's movies. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, The Last Airbender is the movies to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: M. Night Shyamalan is impressive that he directs, produces, and writes his movies (although, technically he didn't produce The Sixth Sense).
Conclusion 3: This may have been a record for number of categories that split the points in one column.
Conclusion 4: This final conclusion will be more like a diatribe. I went to watch The Blind Side on opening weekend last year (because it had one of the best trailers ever). I sat in my row to watch my movie in peace. Apparently, Twilight 2 was all sold out and the spill over was coming into my theater! The teenage girls behind me talked and giggled the whole movie, ruining my Blind Side experience. I didn't even get teary eyed during the movie because of them...the end (thank you for listening).
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