This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for May 21, 2010
By Curt David
May 21, 2010
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Blade, Blade Runner, and Sling Blade all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My Top 5: Movies I never would have watched, nor would watch again, if Ms. Zeta-Jones wasn't in them... #2: Splitting Heirs).
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of May 21st, the movies in wide release are MacGruber and Shrek Forever After.
| MacGruber | Shrek Forever After | Winner
(1 point per category)
|
| Clearest Title | This sounds like it might be a movie based on the Saturday Night Live spoof of MacGyver. | This sounds like it might be a new movie from the Shrek trilogy. | Pretty clear week. Shrek is probably more popular so I'll give him 2/3 point and MacGruber 1/3. |
Best Genre
and Rating | Action Comedy
Rated R for strong crude sexual content, violence, language, and some nudity.
| Animation Family
Rated PG for mild action, some rude humor, and brief language.
| Both movies have action, rudeness, and language. Based on how I judged the previous round, MacGruber probably has more of those things so 2/3 point, and 1/3 point for Shrek. |
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars) | "The Ultimate Tool"
Hahahaha. MacGruber is both a "machine used for accomplishing a task" and "someone who acts like a jerk and thinks he looks cool in the process"
5/5 stars
| "The Final Chapter"
Really? You're not just saying that so more people watch this movie before the next one?
1/5 stars
| The Ultimate Tool. Hahahahaha That's funny. And worth a point.
|
| Best Part of Trailer | Looks like the quintessential movie that looks completely dumb and funny, in a good way. | Wasn't too impressed. I did smile at the final Donkey and Puss in Boots scene. | MacGruber destroys this round and easily wins the point. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Will Forte is basically known from Saturday Night Live. | Mike Myers is basically known from Saturday Night Live, the Austin Powers movies, and the voice of Shrek. | Mike sees Will's SNL and raises him two successful movie franchises. Point for Mike. |
| Best Cast Member | Kristen Wiig is basically known for being one of the best SNL cast members ever and she has been in Knocked Up, Adventureland, and Walk Hard. | Cameron Diaz is basically known for being in The Mask, There's Something About Mary, Charlie's Angels, and the voice of Fiona. | Kristen Wiig (aka as Penelope, Gilly, Target Lady, Judy Grimes) will take this round. |
Best Street Cred
For the Production | Director and writer Jorma Taccone has directed and written several Saturday Night Live episodes. | Director Mike Mitchell has directed Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, Surviving Christmas, and Sky High. | If Mr. Taccone can write and direct an episode of SNL, he can definitely do the same with this movie. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, MacGruber scores 5 points and Shrek Forever After scores 2 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you never ever find Saturday Night Live funny anymore, please watch the fourth Shrek film. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, MacGruber is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Cameron Diaz is a better actress than people give her credit for. She has four Golden Globe nominations for There's Something About Mary, Being John Malcovich, Vanilla Sky, and Gangs of New York.
Conclusion 3: The Ultimate Tool. Hahahaha. Funny.
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