By Michael Lynderey
April 12, 2010
- American Pie 4 - Ignoring the baker's dozen of straight-to-video sequels, Harold & Kumar makers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg will write and direct (together, not respectively). This one will follow up American Wedding and apparently re-unite some of the original cast (Biggs? Suvari? Where did my childhood go?). Now, remember that Scream 4 rant I gave a few weeks back, which sounded like the vapid ramblings of a deranged lunatic? If you do, play it in your head right now and save me the trouble of having to write all those words out again.
- Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son - We've now got a release date (February 18, 2011) and a new subtitle, one that suspiciously drops the "House" part from the proceedings (Big Momma apparently having gone homeless this time around).
- Godzilla - Come now, it's already been 14 years! A reboot, I would say, is long overdue. Legendary Pictures/Warner Bros. are hatching this one for circa 2012, a year that may well see the arrival of the real Godzilla, possibly at this film's premiere.
- Johnny English 2 - Rowan Atkinson's clueless, $28 million-grossing (domestically, natch) spy will return, although I have a hard time seeing this getting a theatrical release stateside.
National Treasure 3 - Now being screenwritten by Carlo Bernard and Doug Miro, with Nicolas Cage most assuredly returning. Just giving you guys early warning.
Spy Kids 4 - Already mentioned somewhere up above, but I thought another sentence had to be spared in order to inform you that the subtitle has been changed from the optimistic "All the Time in the World" to the quite dissimilarly cryptic "Armageddon" (the makers of Big Momma's House 3 were really miffed when they heard that Spy Kids beat them to it on using this subtitle).
The Toxic Avenger - A remake of the 1984 (or perhaps 1985) paradigm of bad taste is now underway; they've got a PG-13 rating in mind, a fact that ought to make anyone who's seen the original hard-R Toxic Avenger burst out in uncontrollable laughter.
Tron: Legacy 2 - So that would be Tron 3. Well, we all really liked Tron: Legacy, and it did gross $322 million, so is it any surprise that writers (Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz) have now been commissioned to repeat the magic? Although I wonder how they could make a sequel, considering all the characters were fatally mauled by grizzly bears at the end of the first Tron: Legacy...
A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas - Originally scheduled for November 5th, then pulled from existence, now back on the tab, but with the release date an uncertainty. Yup, both John Cho and Kal Penn will return, with Penn having to vacate the cushy government desk job that I thought had been created specifically to prevent the existence of this film. I mean, really, a third Harold and Kumar movie? That's not the kind of hopey-changey thing I would have wanted. Oh, and it will possibly be in 3D (no kidding - I wouldn't joke about something like that).
xXx: The Return of Xander Cage - Co-stars Samuel L. Jackson and director Rob Cohen are now both also scheduled to be back, along with the previously announced Vin Diesel, who hardly needs an introduction. Yes, yes, it's in 3D. Must you even ask? When I write about a sequel or reboot that's not in 3D, I'll be sure to let you know.