This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for April 9, 2010
By Curt David
April 9, 2010
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, 3 Men and a Baby, Million Dollar Baby, and Rosemary's Baby all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My Top 5: The third best Catherine Zeta-Jones movie of all-time is The Legend of Zorro).
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of April 9th, the new movies in wide release are Date Night and.....nope, it looks like Date Night is the only new release this weekend. To make things more interesting, I will compare the movie Date Night to the last date I went on.
| Date Night
(the movie)
| My Last Date
(autobiography)
| Winner
(1 point per category) |
| Clearest Title | This movie sounds like it will probably be a fun movie, perhaps a romantic comedy, perhaps it'll even have a sequel. | The date I went on wasn't that fun, there was no romance, and it definitely did not garner a sequel. | Date Night sounds like a more successful choice. Point for the movie. |
Best Genre &
Rating | Action/ Romantic Comedy
Rated PG-13 for sexual and crude content throughout, language, some violence, and a drug reference.
| The Opposite of Action
Rated PG for an embarrassing ending where the girl initiates the goodbye-handshake.
| I'm trying to forget the actual events of that day, so Date Night wins a second point. |
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars) | N/A
Steve Carell and Tina Fey couldn't think of a catchy tagline for this film? Really?
0/5 stars
| "It's not you, it's me."
At least the girl tried to summarize our entire date. Better than not even having a tagline.
.0001/5 stars
| "You think Fey and Carell are funny, just wait until they go on a date." That should have been the tagline for the movie. My actual date wins this point. |
| Best Part of Trailer | The editors of the trailer made it seem funny and enjoyable. | I tell all of my friends that I broke it off with her. | All my friends don't believe me. The movie takes this round. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Steve Carell is a great actor when he is doing comedy like Anchorman, Get Smart, and The Office. He has brought joy into my life. | The girl. She is a great actress when she wants a free steak dinner. She has brought me heartburn. | Michael Scott: "This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple years ago."
Steve's funny and easily wins this point.
|
| Best Cast Member | Tina Fey was amazing as she acted in Mean Girls, Baby Mama, 30 Rock, and Saturday Night Live. | That muscular guy was amazing as he drove off with my girl, on his motorcycle, after the steak dinner. | Tina Fey has never made me cry. Point for her. |
Best Street Cred
for the Production | Director Shawn Levy has also directed the Night of the Museum movies, Cheaper by the Dozen, and The Pink Panther. | I don't have any street cred. | Shawn Levy also makes cameos in a lot of his movies, which is cool too. Point for him. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Date Night scores 6 points and my last date scores 1 point.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you can't find a date to take to Date Night, then just stay home*. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, Date Night is guaranteed to be the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I enjoy funny conversation, romantic dinners, and long walks on the beach.
Conclusion 3: *There's nothing wrong with spending an evening alone.
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