Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Recap

Knights of the Round Table

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

March 12, 2010

President of the I Hate James Non-Fan Club.

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Do you know who sucks at puzzles? That's right. Everyone on the Heroes tribe. Rob and Sandra get the Villains through the puzzle portion of the challenge pretty quickly once they return with their pieces and have once again thrown the Heroes another beating. At some point, the Heroes are going to have to be able to win once or twice to qualify this as a feud once more.

After the challenge, James comments that Tom is useless on challenges because he can't do puzzles. This just seems like the show's producer's messing with us, though. Tom is really no worse than anyone else on challenges, and it has to be time to play It's Anyone But James, right? If anyone besides James is sent home, they're idiots. There's no way they should even consider someone else. We love James, but he is no help to them in challenges right now (he can't be direction caller in all of them) and they will lose every time until the merge finally occurs.

Back at camp, the discussion turns to James's bitter enemy, Tom. Although both Candice and J.T. know that the logical choice is to eliminate James, they seem to be implementing the type of personnel evaluation that leads a team to draft Sam Bowie instead of Michael Jordan. We're flabbergasted as we watch the discussions, because we can tell exactly where this is going.

During last week's episode, J.T. was shown negotiating with Tom. Tonight, he talks to Colby instead. You talk to Tom if you're brokering a deal with him, and you talk to Colby if you're brokering a deal with someone other than Tom and Colby.


Before the votes are read, Tom and James make everyone uncomfortable by hating on each other. If celebrity boxing ever returns, we would totally pay to see this match-up. To evaluate fairly, Tom has probably done a disservice to himself. He has made no secret of his loathing of James, to the point that having both men at camp is incredibly uncomfortable. One of them must go - it's just a question of whether the Heroes choose the guy who can do them some good or the guy who might have to drop out for medical reasons before the next challenge. So, naturally, the Heroes vote out Tom. Obviously, we think this is epically stupid. Now down to only six players (to the Villains' nine), they have a guy with a broken toe, a guy in a knee splint, two girls who have proven to be slight liabilities in challenges, and Colby and J.T.

We'll be back in two weeks, since CBS is kind enough to give us the first round of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament off. At that time, we'll apparently be treated to some chest thumping from Boston Rob and Evil Loser Russell. We'll continue to be on the side of the angels in that fight.

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