This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for Feb. 26th, 2010
February 26, 2010
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Man on the Moon, Moonstruck, and New Moon all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (IMDb has Ms. Zeta-Jones rumored to be making a rock opera 3D movie called Cleo. She could be playing Cleopatra).
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of February 26th, the new movies in wide release are Cop Out and The Crazies.
|Cop Out||The Crazies||Winner|
(1 point per category_
|Clearest Title||I really hope that this is a family movie where a cop gets a chance to play professional baseball.
"The cop is out!"
"That's not any cop, that's my dad!"
|I really hope that this is a comedy about an elementary teacher and her class.
"Mrs. M! Billy looked at me!"
"Only tattle if there is a real problem."
"Mrs. M! I just ate a goldfish!"
|"Cop Out" can be a verb or a noun. It's not that clear. "The Crazies" is just a noun, which means the movie will have crazy people in it. That's clear enough to get a point. |
|Best Genre &|
Rated R for pervasive language including sexual references, violence, and brief sexuality.
Rated R for bloody violence and language.
|Well there goes my kid-friendly movie plots. The movies split the point for both being rated R. |
(out of 5 stars)
|Rock out with your glock out.
So the original saying, with another word that rhymes with glock, means to party hard. Glock is a brand name for a cop's handgun. If the tagline is this funny, the movie must be hilarious!
Clever-ish. 4/5 stars
|Fear thy neighbor.
Kind of clever- your neighbors are probably going to be crazy. But, why the "thy" ?
|Point for Cop Out. First decent tagline in the past month of movies. |
|Best Part of Trailer||Tracy Morgan made me laugh. I think the trailer wanted that to happen. ||Ummm....this was a disturbing trailer. I think the trailer wanted that to happen. ||Both trailers accomplished what they set out to do. Both movies will split the point. |
|Coolest Lead Actor||Bruce Willis, best known for the Die Hard movies and The Sixth Sense. You may also know him from the TV show Moonlighting and the voice of Mikey from Look Who's Talking. ||Timothy Olyphant, best known for Hitman and being the bad guy in Live Free or Die Hard. You may also know him from the TV show Deadwood and as the bad guy in Scream 2. ||It's tough to beat Bruce Willis in this category. Another point for Cop Out. |
|Best Cast Member||Tracy Morgan from 30 Rock and Saturday Night Live. ||Radha Mitchell from Pitch Black, Phone Booth, Man on Fire, and Finding Neverland. ||"I'm Brian Fellow" and I just won this point. |
|Best Street Cred|
for the Production
|Director Kevin Smith has also directed (and acted as Silent Bob) in Clerks, Mallrats, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. ||Director Breck Eisner has also directed the movie Sahara. ||Kevin Smith also acted in Live Free or Die Hard with Tim and Bruce. And he has directed a lot of famous movies. Point for him. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Cop Out scores 5 points, and The Crazies scores 2 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are taking your kids to the movies, don't see either of these two films. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, Cop Out is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Apparently, the studio wanted to name that movie "A Couple of Cops," and Kevin Smith called that title a "Cop Out," and the real title was born.
Conclusion 3: I assumed "The Crazies" meant a group of people that were crazy. However, "crazies" isn't in the dictionary, except for the idiom, "the crazies," which means a sense of extreme unease. I'm Brian Fellow.