Monday Morning Quarterback Part I

By BOP Staff

February 15, 2010

Sure, she's got the gold, but will that cover all the knee surgeries she's going to need?

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We did not choo choo choose this.

Kim Hollis: The subtly named Valentine's Day achieved a self-fulfilling prophecy by dominating the Valentine's weekend box office with $52.4 million. How did Warner Bros. achieve such a remarkable result?

Josh Spiegel: Marketing, marketing, marketing. In the same way that horror movies do well with teenagers, romantic comedies do well with plenty of men looking to please or placate their women, or women who want to go out with friends, even if said movie is apparently neither romantic nor funny. It also helps that the marketing team tried to make people assume, correctly or not, that Valentine's Day was the American version of Love Actually (which has the distinction of being both romantic and funny). Also, it really can't hurt a movie if every single actor in the world is in it. Because that appears to be the case here.

Calvin Trager: There are two factors here. One is the title, and the second is the release date. Ultimately it proves we are a crass, baseless society.

Michael Lynderey: I seem to remember that Valentine's Day was announced just a few days after He's Just Not That Into You hit it real big, and the film serves as a demonstration of a process Hollywood does best: take something that worked on a lower scale and replicate it, but make it bigger on every level. In this case, that meant almost three times as many name actors and subplots, with a perfect release date and a title that was unreservedly unapologetic about its intentions. It looks like they're doing another one of these for New Year's Eve, and I hope they make a 2010 release date - I always enjoy old-school showmanship like that, especially the concept of a sequel being greenlighted, produced, and released in the same year as the film it's following up (see Breakin' (May 1984) and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (December 1984) for another example of this phenomenon).

Tim Briody: They put out a movie called Valentine's Day over...Valentine's Day. It doesn't take a bunch of geniuses to figure that one out. I look forward to the 80% collapse next weekend, which just so happens to not contain Valentine's Day.




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Shalimar Sahota: Movie studios have always tired to capitalize on dates on the movie calendar, so putting out a movie called Valentine's Day on Valentine's Day means that regardless of the quality people (or couples who are happy to be spoon fed whatever trash comes their way) will flock to see it. It's like brainwashing for the brainless. Warners must have known this and pictured that couples would opt for the easy choice this weekend:

COUPLE AT MOVIE THEATER TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO WATCH:

Hot Woman (dressed in "Guaranteed To Get Some Tonight" clothes): Hmm, what to watch? Well, it is Valentine's Day, and there's a film called Valentine's Day. It would be wrong not to watch Valentine's Day on Valentine's Day.

Man (realizing that the film is going to be awful but also knows that the woman he's with is too hot for him, so goes along with every decision she makes because he's afraid of losing her): Okay!

But then mindlessly following on pretty much sums up the day itself – people give flowers and chocolates to their loved ones, not really questioning why they have to do it on February 14th since they can do it on any other day of the year. I guess it's for couples that are unable to spread love all year round so they need a day to remind them.

Next year, Valentine's Day Part 2: Breaking Up.


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