This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison of the new releases for January 29, 2010

By Curt David

January 29, 2010

You're right, that *is* the funniest Logan Echolls joke ever!

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, The Godfather, The Stepfather, and Big Daddy all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (It's been 911 days since I was able to see Catherine Zeta-Jones on the big screen).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of January 29th, the new movies in wide release are Edge of Darkness and When in Rome.


Edge of Darkness When in Rome WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleIs this a typical scary movie? Probably not. Perhaps a unique scary movie? Maybe. Is this the sequel to What Happens in Vegas? Probably not. Perhaps a prequel? Maybe. Tough. I feel people would have to find out the plot of Edge of Darkness, while other people would naturally see a movie titled "When in Rome," regardless of the plot. Point for Rome.
Best Genre &
Rating
Thriller/Drama

Rated R for strong, bloody violence and language.

This is the fourth week in a row we get a rated R movie with strong, bloody violence (Legion, Book of Eli, Daybreakers), but at least this one is less supernatural.
Romantic Comedy

Rated PG-13 for some suggestive content.

This will be the first of three weeks we get a romantic movie (Dear John, Valentine's Day).
If it was the second week of February, the romantic comedy would automatically win this round. But there's also been so many violent movies recently. Meh- the movies split the point.
Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) Some secrets take us to the edge.

I like how the word "edge" is in the title and the tagline. 1/5 stars
Did you ever wish for the impossible?

Did you ever wish for a better tagline? 0/5 stars
What about "Rome is where the heart is," or "What's worse than being in the darkness? Being in the..." Edge of Darkness barely wins the point. Weak round.
Best Part of TrailerWHOA! The trailer looks good. Mel Gibson is trying to avenge his daughter's death. Good times. WHOA! I actually laughed during this trailer. Kristen Bell looks cute. Good times. I didn't want to see either movie before watching the trailers. Now I may consider putting both movies on my Netflix queue. Split the point!
Coolest Lead ActorMel Gibson, one of the most famous actors of all-time (Mad Max, Lethal Weapon, Braveheart) was last on the screen in Signs in 2002, released Passion of the Christ in 2004, and got into a lot of trouble in 2006. How is he going to affect this film? Kristen Bell, from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, won critical acclaim from Veronica Mars. Guess who's back, back again, Gibson's back, tell a friend.*

Thee Mel Gibson wins this round.
Best Cast MemberRay Winstone (the computer generated Beowulf) has had experience as the "tough guy character" in many movies. Anjelica Huston. Morticia in Addams Family. 'nuf said. I don't even know how big a role she has in this movie, but the Oscar winning Huston wins this round.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Martin Campbell directed one of the most popular and critically praised British television mini-series ever: The Edge of Darkness. And Casino Royale. Director Mark Steven Johnson has also directed Simon Birch, Daredevil, and Ghost Rider. Simon Birch?! Shoot, that movie alone almost won this round. However, Martin Campbell, who just has to direct a good remake of his own brilliant work, is still going to win.



*Eminem, thank you for letting me use those lyrics to announce the arrival of Mel Gibson.

So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Edge of Darkness scores 4 points and When in Rome scores 3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if magical wishing wells and finding true love is your ideal plot of a movie, then please watch When in Rome. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Edge of Darkness is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: The "911" days since Catherine Zeta-Jones' last movie is an accurate number. No Reservations about that statistic.
Conclusion 3: A classic Morticia Addams line as she is looking at things in a wardrobe: "Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe," "Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe," "Uncle Niknak."




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