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5:00 PM Sundance
The Guitar (2008 USA): If you remain unconvinced by my recommendation for My Son John, here's a goofy programming alternative for you. Saffron Burrows stars as the appropriately monikered Melody, a New York City resident who decides to live for today after she loses her job and her boyfriend and learns she's dying from throat cancer (this all in the same day, mind). She rents a fancy loft, buys a guitar, and basically spends money like there's no tomorrow—but when she outlives her prognosis and the bills come due, Melody begins to wonder what's really to become of her. In its own special way, The Guitar is just as silly as My Son John, a sort of violence-free American Psycho for the new century. Directed by Amy (daughter of Robert) Redford, The Guitar makes its small screen debut this evening on Daddy's vanity channel.

Thursday 1/28/10

1:30 AM Fox Movie Channel
The Norliss Tapes (1973 USA): One of the better made-for-television horror films of the 1970s, The Norliss Tapes returns to the small screen tonight after a long absence. Roy Thinnes takes the lead as David Norliss, a reporter who mysteriously disappears whilst working on a very strange story. Luckily, he leaves behind a series of recordings, and the tale unfolds via flashback as publisher Sanford Evans (Don Porter) listens to The Norliss Tapes. Vampires, zombies, and Angie Dickinson are all involved, taking the film into Kolchak: The Night Stalker territory—so if you enjoyed that series, you'll probably get similar mileage from The Norliss Tapes.

3:25 PM The Movie Channel
The Garden (2006 USA): This is a fairly ‘meh' horror flick, but it's got one thing going for it: Lance Henriksen. I was recently reminded of Henriksen's skills when I watched Antibody, a silly sci-fi film in which he portrays a private security specialist shrunk to the size of a molecule and sent on a fantastic voyage to defuse a nuclear detonator located inside the body of a terrorist. Though Antibody is as absurd as this synopsis suggests, Henriksen is such a good actor that I couldn't help but become invested in the proceedings, and he's even better in The Garden. He plays Ben Zachary, a farmer eking out a living on Satan's Little Acre and eager to reap the souls of all who might stumble across his humble homestead. And stumble they do, in the shape of a father and son (Brian Wimmer and Adam Taylor Gordon) who take a fateful wrong turn on a road trip. That'll teach ‘em to upgrade to a rental car with GPS.

5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Road to Singapore (1940 USA): Bob, Bing, and Dorothy—if you know them on a first name basis, you probably grew up before 1980. Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and Dorothy Lamour made a series of incredibly popular ‘Road' musical comedies between 1940 and 1962, and TCM has five of them on offer this evening, and in chronological order no less. These films were staples of ‘70s television, but like so many other pieces of mid-20th century pop culture went into seclusion shortly thereafter. Now they're back, and will hopefully prove as enjoyable as ever! The fun commences at 5:00 PM with the Road first travelled—Singapore, a sleepy British colony invaded by the Japanese shortly after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. In this inaugural outing, Bob and Der Bingel play confirmed bachelors escaping office jobs and grasping women by taking a gap year in the Far East. Of course, the fairer sex also exist overseas, and Bing soon falls for native girl Dorothy, whose jealous lover (Anthony Quinn) doesn't take kindly to their relationship. Singapore is followed by Zanzibar at 6:30 PM, Morocco at 8:15 PM, Utopia at 9:45 PM, and Bali at 11:30 PM. Plot summaries aren't necessary, as they're all basically the same!

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