Survivor: Samoa

Damage Control

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

December 13, 2009

Ladies and gentlemen, two of the worst players in Survivor history!

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Speaking of which, it's time for the next challenge. The contestants must race out into the water three different times to pick up three different bags. Then they have to return back to the beach and put the bag on one end of a plank. From there, they will hop on the other end of the plank to shoot their bag in the air and hopefully into a basket. The first Survivor to get all three bags in the basket wins immunity.

This is one of those crappy challenges that seems to favor the men, and it definitely plays out that way. Brett and Mick are neck and neck in first and second, with Jaison and Evil Russell following behind. Meanwhile, Shambo does sort of average while Monica and Natalie are past hope. It's quite close between Mick and Brett, but the doctor is showing signs of exhaustion and the lone remaining Galu male takes home the immunity necklace.

What does this mean? Why, it means it's time to play It's Anyone But Dead Meat! She laments her inability to "get the thing in the basket," presumably because this leads to her getting the hose again. In adorable fashion, Brett and Dead Meat scramble a bit to try to convince Dr. Mick that Evil Russell will almost surely take Shambo and Natalie to a final with him. Mick seems to consider this, asking Jaison if he really believes that Evil Russell will take them to past the final five. Mick says, "It's like a little kid sees a snake and the snake's like, 'Hey, come play with me. I'm not gonna bite you.' The kid starts playing with the snake and the snake bites him. He's like, 'What happened? You said you weren't going to bite me?' And he's like, 'I'm a snake. That's what I do.' So I am very skeptical. This as an astute evaluation of Evil Russell as anyone has offered at any point during this season. ELR is the living, breathing definition of mad, bad and dangerous to know.

Dead Meat tries to further stir things up by telling Evil Russell that both Natalie and Jaison told her and other members of Galu that he makes a ton of money. ELR immediately goes and yells at Natalie about this, but she denies having betrayed his trust. The two of them go and ask Brett who told them that Russell is rich. Brett answers that it was Jaison.


Therefore, ELR approaches Jaison to find out what's what. With the worst poker face ever, Jaison denies being the culprit in this case. Evil Russell correctly surmises that Jaison has just told a fib. It's pretty clear that both Jaison and Mick are suffering from some mental exhaustion at this point, which was bound to happen based on the fact that they've actually, you know, been playing the game - unlike the Galu tribe members.

At Tribal Council, Evil Russell pulls the hidden immunity idol from his pocket and puts it around his neck. This leads Dead Meat to accuse him of being cocky. We have officially come full circle in the game, where a member of Galu is saying that a person from Foa Foa is too cocky. For his part, Evil Russell clearly just wants Dead Meat to suffer and then die - even more than is usually the case with his feelings for a woman.

Really, there's nothing the editors could have done to make this Tribal Council interesting. Dead Meat is voted out and we're on to the final six, which means there are only two episodes left. Now is the time when people have to make a move, so it should be an engaging couple of shows. Considering that tonight's episode had two elimination challenges and two tribal councils, it was...lacking in intrigue, so we'll hope for improvement.

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