This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for Oct. 28th, 2009
By Curt David
October 28, 2009
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Twister, The Hurricane, and Disaster Movie are all different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen. (Dear Catherine Zeta-Jones, I have seen six of your movies on their opening weekends)
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of October 30th, Michael Jackson's This is It is the only movie opening in wide release (in theaters on Wednesday). I will compare seeing Michael Jackson's movie with trick-or-treating on Halloween.
| | Michael Jackson's
This Is It. | Trick-or-Treating | Winner
(1 point per category)
|
| Clearest Title | This movie is probably a tribute to Michael Jackson. | This event is probably a Halloween tradition. | Both events this week will split the point for clarity. |
Best Genre &
Rating | Documentary/Music
PG for suggestive choreography and scary images.
| Traditions
PG1 for extortion of adults and scary images.
| Kids extorting adults should be scarier than just PG. Point goes to This is It for best genre and rating. |
| Best Tagline | Like you've never seen him before. | Trick-or-treat | Trick-or-treat has been and will be one of the most memorable taglines ever. Point for Halloween. |
| Best Part of Trailer | Seeing footage of MJ preparing for his concert. | Unfortunately, holidays do not come with trailers. | This is It wins this round. |
| Lead Actor | Michael Jackson | Kids dressing up as superheros, princesses, maybe even Michael Jackson. | Or do kids dress up like the Jonas Brothers/Miley Cyrus these days? Doesn't matter, point goes to the King of Pop. |
| Best Cast Member | Michael Jackson | Little babies dressed up in costumes. | Have you ever seen a baby dressed up as a ladybug? That's the cutest. Point. |
| Best Street Cred for the Production | Director Kenny Ortega directed all three High School Musical productions.
| Millions of children trick-or-treating on neighborhood streets. | Street Cred? Neighborhood streets? Clearly, Trick-or-treating wins a point for this category. |
1The MPAA actually did NOT assign a rating of PG to Trick-or-treating.
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie (or holiday), Michael Jackson's This is It scores 3 1/2 points and Trick-or-Treating scores 3 1/2 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you do not like pop culture, stay home this weekend. However, if you are still on the fence on which new release to watch this weekend, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, Michael Jackson's This is It is the best movie to watch this week, except on Saturday night, when you should be trick-or-treating.
Conclusion 2: Writing this column reminded me of a joke I heard 15 years ago. A pastor said, "God is both man and woman, and black and white." A woman shouted out, "I knew God was Michael Jackson!" (No disrespect intended.)
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