Selling out
By Tom Macy
October 7, 2009
Question: Well, who says you know everything?
Answer: My name is answer.
Question: This is ridiculous.
Answer: What was the question, Question?
Question: Ugh. I'm just saying that ever since Michael Moore proved documentaries could be successful they've been getting worse and worse. Any time money is a goal in filmmaking people will start making films for the wrong reasons. Previously you could usually count on a doc to be well made because it was a labor of love. Before the days of digital people had to use actual film. Think about how expensive that must have been. And with hardly any hope for commercial success? People would only make documentaries if they had something really important to say. Nowadays all you need is a political agenda, iMovie and YouTube. You can film a bunch of stuff, throw in a parade of talking heads, and you've got people believing 9/11 was an inside job. That's not a good thing.
Answer: Okay, that wasn't even close to a question, but fine. I'll respond by saying none of that has anything to do with Moore. It isn't his fault that people imitate his style badly.
Question: I don't know. I think Moore's approach is a little questionable, too. His films are wrought with manipulation. You betray the audience's trust when you don't tell them everything.
Answer: Whoa whoa whoa, these aren't newsreels. They're films. All documentaries contain some form of commentary. It's a subject shown to the audience through a filmmaker's eyes. There are no rules. They aren't required to tell the audience anything.
Question: I'm just saying his films could be a little more objective. Maybe then people would take him seriously.
Answer: Are you a Republican?
Question: What?
Answer: Because you don't agree with his views, you're declaring that he's "destroyed the documentary!"
Question: It has nothing to do with what I believe. It has to do with the filmmaking.
Answer: Oh get off it! It's impossible to have an opinion on Michael Moore and not have it be political!
Question: What? What about all the stuff you said earlier about separating the message from the craft?
Answer: I was reading from a script! You think you can honestly have a civil conversation about Michael Moore if you disagree politically? It's like having a conversation about Lost without divulging any of the plot. Ooooo, I love how the title is only one word. Me too. It's so short and easy to remember.
Question: Okay, you're freaking me out. I'm going to leave.
Answer: You can't leave! We're just imaginary characters inside some weirdo's head who is trying to figure out how his article on Michael Moore turned into an argument with his subconscious.
Question: Seriously?
Answer: Yep.
Question: That's really odd.
Answer: And sad.
Question: Whoa. I feel sorry for that guy.
Answer: I don't.
Question: Okay, look, maybe we should give it up. Michael Moore is just too inflammatory talk about with someone who has different opinions than you. It does more harm than good.
Answer: *Sigh*. Agreed. It'll be much more pleasant if everyone stays in their respective camps. All the liberals can go on loving and praising his flag waving bravado while ignoring all the holes in his grossly generalized arguments and conservatives can continue to call him fat and use his face as a dart board at Texas Tech frat parties while never seeing one of his films.
Question: I'm glad we sorted this out.
Answer: Me too.
Question: Cool. So what should we do now?
Answer: Wanna catch a movie? I hear that new Drew Barrymore one is playing - the one with the roller skating. It looks like it really subverts the chick flick genre by focusing on the power of women. Should we check what the times are?
Question: Ehhh, I don't know if I want to see that.
Answer: Oh, right, sorry. You're a bible-touting evangelist who doesn't believe in woman's rights.
Question: That's it, you tree hugging hippy. You are going down!
Answer: BRING THE NOISE, RUMSFELD LOVER!
Question: YOUR ASS IS GRASS, GRANOLA BAR!
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