October 2009 Forecast

October 2009 Forecast

By Shane Jenkins

October 2, 2009

If this is it, where's Kenny Loggins? Or Huey Lewis?

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This Is It – 1
Attention, vultures!
Grotesquerie on display
For two weeks only!

Saw VI – 2
I guess it's fitting
That Jigsaw places second
To an exhumed corpse

Where the Wild Things Are – 3
Please let this be good
I'm not even religious
But please, God. Amen.

Zombieland – 4
Jesse Eisenberg
Will say yes to any film
With "land" in its name

Couples Retreat - 5
Time sure does fly by!
A Christmas Story's Ralphie
Now directs bad films!

Toy Story 3-D Double Feature - 6
Hey, that potato
Has extra eyes in his butt!
Has Jigsaw been here?




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Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant – 7
Wow, Salma Hayek
Looks hot even with a beard.
Much like Zac Efron!

Law Abiding Citizen – 8
Dear Gerard Butler,
Do you have the same agent
As Cuba Gooding?

Astro Boy – 9
Listen to this pitch:
"Crime-fighting Pinocchio."
Back up the Brinks truck!

Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas – 10
This is Halloween
Or, as Hot Topic calls it,
Just another day

Whip It – 11
This is not a film
About huffing whipped cream cans
Or is it? *wink wink*

Bonus: I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell – 666
Yes they do, Tucker.
But it's just warm Natty Lite
And your film on "loop."


     


 
 

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