Take Five

By George Rose

September 15, 2009

My nose is the appropriate size for my body type!

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If Johnny Depp and Tim Burton aren't enough to whet your appetite (forgetting their Sweeney Todd will help), maybe the inclusion of Winona Ryder will. Just as the movie is for its male talent, Edward Scissorhands is a reminder of the days when Winona was a celebrity to reckon with. Depp and Burton are sellouts now and Winona is a kleptomaniac, but they didn't become famous for making bad early choices. Ryder stars as the daughter in the suburban family and love interest to Edward, giving a performance full of the angst and sincerity we once relied on her to deliver. Hers isn't the only one worth noting, as all the acting is top notch, but she's one of the bigger pleasures of the movie because we haven't seem much memorable work from her since. While Burton and Depp have gone on to increasing fame, Edward Scissorhands is a reminder of the genius that sparked their never-ending appeal and is a throwback to the days when Winona was a tolerable actress. If nothing else it inspired Edward 40 Hands and that alone is reason to watch the movie.

Dogma (1999)

While this weekend brings the new Matt Damon comedy The Informant!, there is no promising that it will be any good. Sure, the trailers look funny but that doesn't mean anything; how many times do trailers show the best or only funny parts to a movie? If you want a guaranteed good laugh with Matt Damon, Dogma is a movie for you.

Being written and directed by Kevin Smith should make it enticing enough, but given the typically low grosses of his movies I'd say you all need some more convincing. This clever story follows a bitter woman named Bethany who is dragged into a battle of biblical proportions. After learning that two fallen angels (Damon and Ben Afflect) are plotting to re-enter Heaven and destroy existence, Bethany is recruited to stop them with the help of a 13th Apostle, a trashy muse, one of God's messengers, and Kevin Smith-staples Jay and Silent Bob.


Jokes range from intelligent commentary on religion and society to the fart-joke humor one would associate with any Hell-sent monster made entirely of feces. Dogma is truly funny because of this blend, allowing the kid inside to laugh without thinking and the adult behind to wheel to laugh at the ironic logic. Though I'm sure Damon's The Informant! is better off without a beast made of poop, I hope it has the ability to conjure as many heartfelt laughs as Dogma.

This weekend in September actually looks half decent. With both The Informant! and Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs on the way, there should be something bearable for everyone. If not, hopefully you can find something here on this week's Take Five. And if that still doesn't work, then it might be time for you to turn off your TV and go outside. All these options and you still can't find something to watch? Well, at least it's fall. You can always watch the leaves change colors.

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