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But I've saved the most audacious faults for last. (500) Days of Summer actually openly mocks classic indie films like The 7th Seal. The movie tortures its audience with every modern indie film device, indulges itself in every cute cliché and then attempts to playfully scoff at the movie's progenitors. The creators either have a wicked sense of self deprecating humor or are completely ignorant of how their presentation comes off.

(500) Days of Summer's greatest sin, however, is that underneath its perhaps well intended veneer of cuteness is a deep sense of cynicism and unlikeability of the characters. In many places, the movie somehow reminded me of what a mean Cameron Crowe film would be like. Much of Almost Famous, for example, explores the very same emotional landscape of power in a relationship and what happens when someone realizes they've ceded the high ground to another and is abused for it. But in that movie, the antagonist realizes that the abuse of that power is not a good thing and makes amends for it. This movie excuses Summer's behavior as simply that of a person who was honest with a partner from the beginning and isn't responsible for the emotional wreckage she creates. It blithely excuses it all by suggesting that her emotional assessment of the relationship is right and that the decisions she makes are absolute and correct. Again, I've seen more than a few traditional rom-coms where the male characters behave this way and are easily identified as the antagonist. If this were an early Bradley Cooper film, the audience would be slashing the screen. The film doesn't appreciate women or even people so much as defend their selfish behavior. It's a particularly childish view of relationships whatever the gender of the character. This is (500) Days of Summer's most glaring transgression to the audience.

They further excuse all of this by having Tom transform himself, not in a fit of "Eff Off, I'll show you!" (which as we all know is what really happens!), but in the most insulting, crotchless wonder, "Golly, she was right..." way. In the very end, his reward is so annoying cloying as to make me want to Stooge poke everyone in the credits.

(500) Days of Summer is a movie built for an audience accustomed to taking little bits of one thing and putting it next to a group of other small parts of something else. It's a movie mash-up of gender switched traditional romantic comedies, with indie sensibilities and film school tricks. It is intended to be a sweet, endearing film of the honest troubles of not so true love. It unfortunately relies on tricks from each of its sources that are well-worn even now, bathed in a lather of immature personalities. I am not in love with this movie. I will always be honest with this film and not encourage its affections. I will happily date better movies. You should, too.

Read what She Said.

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