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9:00 PM MGM HD
Breeders (1986 USA): Amongst the worst science fiction films of all time, Breeders makes a rare boob tube appearance tonight, and in hi-def, no less. Written and directed by porn veteran Tim Kincaid (L.A. Tool & Die, Tough Guys: Gettin' Off), Breeders examines a new plague stalking the streets of New York City: the serial rape of young virgin women, apparently savaged and impregnated by extraterrestrial beings. If you believe the video box-art for this film, these ET's look just like Alien chest-bursters, but the truth is not quite as exciting. If you like close encounters of the bare-breasted kind, however, you'll be well pleased.

9:15 PM Encore Dramatic Stories
The Counterfeiters (2007 OST): A Holocaust film unlike any other, The Counterfeiters tells the true story of labor camp inmates with a very special assignment: helping produce enough counterfeit Allied currency to bring down the West's financial system and bring glorious victory to the dear old Fatherland! Directed by Stefan Ruzowitzky, whose earlier film The Inheritors cast a cheeky eye upon Austrian land disputes, the film features Karl Markovics as Salomon Sorowitsch, a highly skilled Jewish counterfeiter sent to the Sachsenhausen concentration camp and assigned to the super secret operation. Salomon develops a strange relationship with camp commandant Herzog (Devid Striesow), who considers himself a cultured anti-Semite who admires good quality work. 2008's surprise winner of the Best Foreign Language Film Academy Award, The Counterfeiters is a superb drama that will also keep you on the edge of your seat.

Saturday 08/08/09

8:10 PM IFC
Secretary (2002 USA): Probably not for all tastes, Secretary stars Maggie Gyllenhaal as Lee, a slightly disturbed young woman hired to be the personal assistant of lawyer Grey (James Spader). The two of them engage in a sado-masochistic sexual relationship, perhaps not a million miles away from the one detailed in Michael Hanecke's The Piano Teacher (2001). A solid if unspectacular indie cast, including Stephen McHattie, Jeremy Davies, and Lesley Ann Warren, support them. And I'm going to resist the temptation to make bad puns about taking dictation. Also airs 8/9 at 12:30 AM.

Sunday 08/09/09

7:00 AM IFC
Jab We Met (2007 IND): Not to be confused in any way, shape, or form with Star Wars' beloved Jabba the Hut, Jab We Met is a fairly rote Bollywood romantic comedy about a lonely rich guy (Shahid Kapur) trying to find true love. He ends up meeting a chatty Sikh girl (Kareena Kapoor) and travels with her to her home in Punjab, where complications ensue when her family decide they're a couple, which seems like a perfectly reasonable mistake to make under the circumstances. Jab We Met is minor Bollywood, but there's plenty of music and it's not as long as it could have been.

9:00 PM Encore Action
Black Gunn (1972 USA): This otherwise mediocre black action pic is worth watching for the cast alone. Jim Brown is posh nightclub owner Gunn, who gets himself mixed up in mob madness when his brother Scotty (Herb Jefferson Jr.) rips off money from Mafia big wig (and used car salesman) Capelli (Martin Landau). Also on hand: Bernie Casey as a Black Panther, fellow sports stars Deacon Jones and Vida Blue, Brenda Sykes, Luciana Paluzzi, and Keefe Braselle! Wow!!

Monday 08/10/09

3:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Esther Waters (1948 GB): It's Dirk Bogarde day on TCM, and whilst I might suggest you watch the whole enchilada, I'll instead focus on the more obscure films that are on the schedule. First up is Esther Waters, featuring Kathleen Ryan as a Victorian servant who finds herself in an, ahem, relationship with household footman William (Bogarde). William knocks up Esther, who ends up penniless and alone in a workhouse. Eventually clawing her way back into gainful employment, she then reencounters the caddish William, who has apparently turned over a new leaf and wishes to make an honest woman of her. This was the first starring role for Bogarde, and though the film tends to the melodramatic it's still quite interesting and not entirely predictable. It's followed at 5:00 AM by 1955's Simba, in which Dirk, Virginia McKenna, and Basil Sydney face off against the Mau Mau rebellion. Stiff upper lips, chaps and chapettes!

6:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Servant (1963 GB): This Harold Pinter adaptation was once regarded as one of Dirk's greatest films; though its reputation has cooled of late, it's still an important film laden with homoerotic tension. Bogarde (a gay man who remained in the closet until his death in 1999) plays Barrett, the very ‘umble manservant of posho Tony (James Fox). Tony has recently moved to London, and has hired Barrett to maintain his flat — but the master/servant relationship is slowly subverted, and the manipulative butler soon begins to assert authority over his employer. Directed by blacklisted expat Joseph Losey, The Servant co-stars Wendy Craig and Patrick Magee, whilst Pinter himself puts in a cameo appearance as a man of wealth and taste.

6:00 PM Sundance
Bigger Splash (1974 GB): I've never seen this film about pop-artist David Hockney, but it's reputed to be a most unusual documentary that eschews realism in favor of a semi-fictional take on its subject's life. Director Jack Hazan would later go on to work on Rude Boy, a film that also took autobiographical liberties with its subject, punk rock demi-gods The Clash.

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